


London Calling

by mnernosyne



Category: Halsey (Musician), Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-05-09 00:57:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14706102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mnernosyne/pseuds/mnernosyne
Summary: After receiving a scholarship allowing her to study arts abroad in a londonian college, Aelyn moves from Las Vegas to London in order to pursue her dreams. New beginnings have never been a part of her strengths, but perhaps, this new environment will allow her to discover more about herself.[Sequel to Ultraviolence]





	1. Nelson Grove Road

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! It has been a little while since I have last posted something on here. But after all this time, here is the first chapter of a story that will follow the life of Aelyn after she flies away from Las Vegas in my previous story titled 'Ultraviolence'. Hopefully, some of the people who have followed my previous story will follow this one as well and maybe even new readers will join me on this adventure.
> 
> A short story following Brendon will make its way on here as well, it is, at the moment, still under construction. Since it will be in a different, experimenting, format than Ultraviolence and London Calling.

_How on earth, does one read one of those?_ Aelyn thinks as she turns the map in every way possible. She looks like a lost tourist, desperate to find the next hot spot they've seen a thousand times on their televisions. A place where they won't be able to see anything with the amount of other tourists standing there and taking pictures, like a group of zombies who want to do that their entire trip. How come teachers don't teach how to use a map at school? It's something useful, people can't always rely on technology, because when we don't have it anymore we're lost and don't know which way to go despite the path being right under our nose. 

She won't give elders the pleasure of being right about young people and how they can't function if they don't have technology here to help them through everything. _Back in my day, we figured things out by ourselves_ , well guess what? We still do that. It's London, not Ouagadougou, she can surely find her way with signs and perhaps a little help from residents, they speak the same language, it mustn't be that hard after all. 

“Crap,” she mutters to herself trying to fold the map back into its original form, it's like the medications labels, it's easy as pie to unfold but when it's time to put it back in, it turns into a conundrum. Two hours in London, and she somehow managed to get lost, good job Aelyn, good freaking job. 

She sighs and look around her for the first time since she arrived an hour ago, when you're used to live in the same city for your entire life you quickly forget to look around for something new to see. It looks nothing like Las Vegas, much more like a city, Vegas is sparse, buildings aren't all next to one another, and even in the parts where they are you're quick to see them all. Then it turns into an empty desert with a few houses here and there. 

All her life she made safe choices, mostly those who would please her loved ones, she never took risks, the risk of failing and crushing on the ground majestically, she's always been too scared. And yet, here she is, all those years after abandoning her thought of studying arts and making it a living, ready to study in a great college further from home than she'd have ever imagined. She's standing there, in the middle of London, surrounded by people with various accents minding their own business. She knows none of them, and she knows that no matter what street she decides to go, there's no chance for her to bump into someone she knows. And it's both comforting and frightening.

 _Show me how big your brave is,_ the singer in her earphones sings, she lets the words sink in and smile to herself before walking again, in search of a sign to know where she is and where she's supposed to go. However, finding the signs doesn't help her, she knows where she is now, but she doesn't remember seeing that street name on the map she tried to read earlier. 

She looks around, trying to gauge which people would be polite and helpful if she were to ask for directions. Every one of them seem to be caught up in whatever they are doing, some certainly going to work, or on their way to pick their kids up at school. She takes a deep breath and pull out one of her earphones to stop a woman who seems nice enough not to tell her to go bother someone else. The woman stops in her tracks and smiles politely, good, at least she's not frowning in annoyance.

“Excuse me, I'm looking for Nelson Grove Road, would you happen to know where I should go from here?” 

“Sure thing, do you come from the South Wimbledon Underground?” she asks in a strong british accent, “oh then you should go back up that road, you weren't much far when you arrived with the underground,” she continues once Aelyn nodded, “you walk back up the street and keep walking forward on the main street until you reach an intersection where there's a business and tax expert office. I'm pretty sure they're still there, then you turn right at this intersection. By then you should be on Pincott Road. You keep walking and after a while you'll see a loco, you turn left right after this shop and you'll be in the right street,” she smiles at Aelyn panicked expression and sums up for her to remember better, “go up the street, turn right on Pincott Road, go up that one and turn left on Nelson Grove Road, you'll see it is easy.”

“Okay, thank you for your help.” 

“You're welcome dear,” the woman says warmly, already walking away.

“Have a bright day,” Aelyn calls out behind her, but she doesn't seem to hear her. She turns around and try to remember the directions the woman gave her, she puts her earphones back in and walk again. Of course, you can count on her to miss the right road, that was literally just at the right of the subway station.

Pincott Road on the right, Nelson Grove Road on the left, she repeats to herself as she makes her way up the street. She's been here for an hour and she already knows what's wrong with London, there are too little signs to help you figure out where you are and where to go. Or maybe every town is made this way but she never noticed since she's been living in Las Vegas her whole life, and know every street by heart. 

The air is much cooler than it is in Vegas, she expected it but she didn't except the difference to be as important as it is. It is peculiar to walk in a mostly empty street while the road is crowded with cars, in a city you know nothing of, so much so that you get lost within less than an hour despite having a map with you. It's not as if she were unorganized, she made sure to bring a map, knowing full well that she wouldn't have access to the internet to help herself with her phone. And yet, she still managed to get lost, it requires a certain amount of talent to do that. 

 _It shouldn't be that long to reach Pincott,_ she thinks, turning around to look at the distance she's walked, she stays in place for a moment before walking in the opposite direction. Even with a nice woman's directions she managed to get lost a second time, soon enough a Pincott Road sign appears in her sight and she sighs in relief. Maybe she's not lost again. 

This road is much calmer than the previous one, which is welcome, walking alone surrounded by dozens of cars is not the most comfortable situation, especially somewhere new, trailing a heavy suitcase. Being alone with her music is nice, it allows her to calm down and relax, before having to enter her new home and meet her new roommate. All she knows about her roommate is that it's a girl named Ashley who's studying at the Wimbledon College of Arts too, she doesn't know more than that. She hopes they'll get along because having to live with someone you're not much close to gets quickly uncomfortable. If you have to constantly overthink every little thing you do, it's unnerving and you can't last long in a situation like this one. 

This time, she doesn't miss the intersection to go on Nelson Grove, the little Loco shop is literally the only shop in a couple of miles of distance, if every street could be that way, it'd make it easier. Nelson Grove is just as calm, the buildings are less fancy than in Vegas, at least on the outside, the thing with most buildings in Vegas is that from outside they look expensive and chic but inside it's entirely different. Perhaps it's to make tourists believe the city is rich, there's an image to entertain about the sin city, but truth is, not many Las Vegans are rich. Among the rich though, there are the casinos who spend their careers pumping the money out of gullible tourists who think having fun in Vegas is spending all their money at the casino. There's so much more to do, especially on the Strip, but they all do the same thing. What even is the point of traveling hundreds or thousands of miles just to lock yourself in a room with maddening cash machines sounds, spending all your money, convinced this time luck is on your side. Well guess what? It's almost never on your side. There are very few people who come out of a casino being richer than ever. The casino staff makes sure you spend most of the money you won on services inside the casino anyway, so you don't get to keep much. Barely enough to replace all the dollars you spent when luck wasn't with you.

When she reaches the right building, she wonders for a second if it's the right place, every single house looks the same in this town, if it wasn't for the numbers on the side of the doors, it'd be almost impossible to differentiate one building from another. Maybe there is a search for cohesion but it's pushed too far, in her opinion.

According to the information she got from the landlord, the apartment is on the second floor, number 3. She stands awkwardly on the doorstep for a couple of minutes, neatly folding her earphones even though she knows they'll be a mess in no time. She takes a deep breath and knocks on the door, a bit too shyly but she can't knock again this soon after knocking for the first time, she doesn't want to seem impatient. There's nothing worse than people who can't stay patient for more than ten seconds. As if they always had something incredibly interesting to do right after they're not doing this mundane stuff, but they don't, they never do. 

Even if her roommate didn't hear the knock, she certainly heard her climbing the stairs with her suitcase, in fact, the entire street might have, there's no way to be discreet in this situation. She waits behind the closed door for a moment, no sounds coming from inside to tell her roommate was on her way to answer the door. She tentatively raises her fist, biting her lip in hesitation before knocking, firmly this time. 

“M'coming!” a husky voice calls from inside, in no time, the door is being unlocked and Aelyn is faced with what might be the most beautiful woman she's ever seen, and she's seen a lot of them. She's friends with Devonne and Woolridge after all. 

“H-hi,” she stutters before clearing her throat, “I'm Aelyn, your new roommate.”

She glances at her suitcase and laughs softly, “I figured when I saw the suitcase and also when I heard all the racket you did in the stairs while coming up.” 

“Yeah, sorry about that,” she shrugs apologetically, “can you show me around? I've walked a long way from the subway station so I could really use a little rest.” 

“Oh really? The station isn't that far from here, you Americans think that even London is a foreign place don't you? Well, sorry to have to announce it to you, yes, there is a world outside of your country,” she jokes, stepping aside to let Aelyn in.

The apartment is a decent size, especially for the price, it looks cozy, much more welcoming than it appeared on the outside, the opposite of Las Vegas. There's a living room area on the right of the door, a color scheme of light blues and pearl, fitting perfectly with the wooden floor and furniture. On the left is the kitchen area, blending flawlessly with the living room both in terms of colors and furniture. It's a beautiful place, and Aelyn doesn't know if Ashley's the one who decorated the apartment, but if she is, then it's impressive. 

“As you can see there is not a lot to see so basically, here you have the kitchen and the living room. I made room for you on the bookcase in case you need space to store your books, because let me be honest, we don't have enough room in our bedrooms to have more than a desk, a bed and space to breathe and move,” she explains with a soft laugh, “talking about the bedrooms, they're on each side of the corridor, well, if you can call that a corridor, and so are the bathrooms. I live on the right side of the flat, no particular reason, don't worry. I'll let you settle and then we can watch a film and get to know one another better, so that it's not weird for the first couple of days living together.”

Aelyn nods with a soft smile before going to discover what her new bedroom looks like, if the rest of the apartment is anything to go by, it'll be a nice place to make a new home, quicker than she thought she would. 

Her bedroom is as she expected, the walls of a faint beige tint, probably in an attempt to make the room look larger than it actually is. It works somewhat, Aelyn must admit. The bed is placed in the far right corner, against a piece of storage furniture, near the foot of the bed is a desk, and that's all there is to see in the room. Ashley didn't lie when she said they didn't have much room for furniture besides a bed and a desk. Even though it's a small bedroom, it's not cramped up, and it's truthfully all that really matters to Aelyn. It is a bit weird to see a room as naked as that, Ashley's previous roommate obviously took all their stuff when they left. Only fairly lights are left on the wall next to the bed, which makes them look out of place, being the only decoration left in the room.

She drops her backpack on the wooden floor and take a seat on the edge of bed to test its level of comfort, the mattress is soft, which she's thankful for. She smiles a small smile thinking about how Brendon has to sleep on a hard mattress even though he hates it, she notes in a corner of her brain that she needs to brag about this to him next time they talk. 

Once her belongings, which isn't much, are in place, she goes back to the living room where Ashley is sitting cross-legged on the couch munching on what seems to be skittles. She looks up from the magazine she was reading, feeling a new presence in the room. She automatically smiles at Aelyn and scoots closer to the armrest even though there's plenty enough room on the couch for four more people. 

“Take a seat, dear,” she pats the empty couch cushion next to her, neatly placing the magazine she was reading on the coffee table, “do you like your room? Debby left the fairly lights when she moved out so I thought I could let them on the wall until you arrived in case you'd want to keep them. Plus, I was too lazy to throw them out,” she laughs brightly which makes Aelyn smile. 

“The room is nice, and I like the fairly lights, they're a nice addition to the room so I'm glad you decided to keep them.” 

“Nice, well even if you didn't like them, there's no way I would have been the one throwing them out,” she jokes, “I'm a lazy person but don't worry I'm not to the point it is a problem to live with me.” 

“I'm used to lazy roommates anyway, so I think we'll be fine,” Aelyn says in a motherly tone, which makes Ashley laugh out loud. 

“So, I say that we watch a film together and eat ice-creams, how about that?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Would you rather watch an action film or a comedy _or_ a rom-com?” she asks excitedly, something tells Aelyn her new roommate would like to watch a rom-com, she's okay with it, she'd go with anything as long as it's not a horror movie.

“A rom-com would be nice.”

“Awesome! I love you already,” she laughs before standing up to go in the kitchen from where she almost immediately starts yelling even though it isn't _that_ far from the living room, “what flavour do you like most? I have _way_ too many tubs of ice-creams in there. Chocolate Fudge Brownie which is delicious, I'll take that one, sorry. Milk & Cookies which you can figure out what it tastes like by yourself. Peanut Butter Cup or Strawberry Cheesecake. Put like that, it doesn't sound tasty but let me tell you that the strawberry cheesecake flavour is absolutely killer,” Ashley seems to be the kind of person who can never shut their mouth, and Aelyn certainly won't complain about it. She tends to adapt herself to the people she surrounds herself with, so if she's around people who talk a lot, she does too. She's the most comfortable around this kind of people.

“I'll try the Strawberry Cheesecake one then,” she half-yells back, she's pretty sure the entire building heard their little conversation about what flavor they want their ice-creams to be.

She comes back with two ice-cream pints and large spoons, “I ate a little bit of the Strawberry Cheesecake one, so if you want another one after finishing the tub you can, absolutely no problem with that. I didn't try the Peanut Butter Cup so you might be the first to taste it, it'd be fun,” she places the pints on the coffee table and go to the shelves to pick a movie, “call me old fashioned but I love watching DVDs more than I do watching films online, there's a certain satisfaction getting to open the case and put the DVD in the player and pressing play. I love it,” she goes through her DVD collection before frowning and turning to Aelyn, “same as ice-creams I have a lot of rom-coms, so would you rather watch Bridget Jones? How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days? 27 Dresses? 10 Things I Hate About You? 13 Going On 30? Wait why do they all have numbers in the title? I never noticed!”

“Before you pointed it out, I hadn't notice either to be honest,” she smiles at Ashley's energy, there was a time where Brendon was like that too and she hated it, but now she'd give everything for him to be like that again. Her smile falters a little, a second too long apparently because as soon as she smiles bright again Ashley frowns.

“Homesickness hits you already? I know it's not completely the same but when I moved here from Blackpool the first couple of months were really rough, but you know how I got through it?” she pauses even though they both know she'll keep talking anyway, “parties, friends and lots and lots of sex,” she laughs before going back to serious with a faint smile tugging at her lips, “seriously though it worked, I met great people through parties, and they quickly became like a second family for me. Well if a family was incestuous because we almost all fucked with each other, but that's a detail,” she waves her hand in the air.

“I'm not someone who loves partying, and sex certainly won't help me.”

“You'll tag along with me at my next party and I'm sure it'll go just fine, and sex always help, well unless you're going through a break up then it's different because everyone reminds you of your ex and you unconsciously pick look-a-likes to fuck. It can get messy pretty quickly,” she thinks for a moment before perking up, “but, if sex isn't the answer for you then so be it, that means more sex for me,” she laughs before turning back towards the shelf, “so, which film?”

“I must admit I'm a big fan of Bridget Jones, especially the first one, it's hilarious. And she is pretty relatable, which is nice for once to have a real clumsy, awkward woman be the main character in a movie, at least to me.”

“Bridget Jones it is, then,” Ashley concludes, “and you know I'm clumsy too, I fall at least like five times a day, I always find a way to trip over my own foot, don't ask me why, I don't know. And I talk _way_ too much, which you might have noticed already, so don't worry we all have our little quirks. Our job is to embrace them, we'd be dull people if we were to be perfectly normal, no one is, otherwise they'd be bland, and granted, some people are in fact bland but not entirely.”

“It's hard to imagine you as a clumsy person honestly, and yes I noticed you talk a lot more than the average person, but I don't mind, I like talkative people.”

“You've known me for an hour, didn't your parents teach you not to judge a book by its cover?” she teases.

Aelyn laughs softly and grab the ice-cream pint from the table, “yes they did but it's always our first instinct to assume people automatically do everything right when they're hot. I don't know where it comes from though, maybe it's because beauty holds a major place in our lives so we think it's the answer to everything. But it shouldn't be,” she keeps talking to drown the fact she called Ashley hot a few seconds ago, “especially since beauty is subjective, we don't all have the same definition of beauty, and thanks God we don't because otherwise most of us would be doomed to spend their lives alone. And it'd be a bum.”

“You think I'm hot huh?” Ashley teases with a growing smirk, okay so maybe rambling after the word came out wasn't the best idea, it didn't drown it in the depth of too much words piled up on top of it. And now she has to admit, that yes, in fact, she thinks she's hot, even though she's met her an hour ago and she could be the kind of person who likes to bring up things like that constantly. Or the kind who makes fun of you for it, for ages. What a good way to start a new potential friendship with your brand new roommate.

“Well, huh- I-” she stumbles upon her words for a moment before clearing her throat, “it's kind of obvious you are, so there's no point in denying it.”

“Well, thank you,” she says bringing a hand up to her heart, “I appreciate it. And for your information it's forty percent look, and sixty percent confidence, if you walk around like you're the hottest bitch in town, people start to believe it too. But don't tell anyone I gave you my secret, I have a reputation to keep up.”

Aelyn laughs softly, “I promise I won't tell anyone, your secret is safe with me,” they both laugh loud and bright as the movie starts.

Ashley's phone vibrates on the wooden coffee table, echoing in the entire apartment, she sighs and check who's calling her before picking up, annoyed, “Tyler, my dear, the love of my life, the fire of my loins, how come I have the honour to be called by you?” her over dramatic tone makes Aelyn smile and try not to laugh.

She hums a couple of times and roll her eyes, then she sits straighter, spoon still in mouth, “owreeding,” the person on the other end apparently didn't understand because she takes the spoon out of her mouth and repeat clearly, “you're kidding,” she immediately starts humming again after that, eating her ice-cream as slowly as a snail.

“Okay, thanks for the information, you're my man, I got to go though I'm watching Bridget Jones with my new roommate,” she pauses, letting her friend speak, “she arrived like an hour or so ago, maybe two now, I don't know I don't obsessively check clocks,” she pauses again, trying not to laugh at what happens on screen, “you'll need to come over so that you two can meet, before the party would be nice, I don't want to introduce her to everyone the same night, it'd be overwhelming. Now, I got to go, Bridget is soon going to sing All By Myself and I _adore_ this scene, bye,” she drags the last vowel before hanging up.

“You're not watching Bridget Jones properly if you don't reenact this,” she laughs turning the volume up as Bridget appears on her couch in her pajamas, Ashley holds her spoon up in front of her mouth singing dramatically, “ _when I was young, I never needed anyone.”_

Aelyn laughs at her facial expressions, and decide to imitate her, spoon in hand, they look at each other as the chorus starts calm before building up. Both of them air drum as they hold the note the best way they can, which is not half as awful as Aelyn would have expected. The song quickly fades out and they burst out laughing falling back against the back of the couch, ice-cream pints in hand.

“I'm glad you are my new roommate, you're fun,” Ashley says leaning to rest her head on Aelyn's shoulder.

“Thank you, you're not too bad either as a roommate,” she pats Ashley's thigh, “by the way, you talked about a party to your friend over the phone, do you plan to bring me to one? Because I didn't go to a real party in years and last time I went to one it didn't exactly go well.”

“Eavesdropping will get your ass kicked in prison,” she jokes, “my friend got us invited to one of the best parties in town, and I'm not saying that solely because it's at Luis' house and I've had the biggest fattest crush on him for weeks now. The coolest people from our school will be there, and every single time a party takes place at Luis' house you can be sure it's _the_ party where you need to be. So there's no way you won't tag along with us.”

“Not to be a killjoy but, being in a house crowded with people I don't know who have had too many drink ten minutes after they got there, and who are fucking against walls and stuff, is not really my thing. I feel out of place there, like Bridget Jones at every gathering she's ever went to. I always end up standing there, with a drink in my hand that I don't plan to drink and watch people move around the place. Oh and there are those guys who won't take no for an answer, and keep trying to get you in their bed even though they're so intoxicated, they probably don't see the difference between you and any other girl present at the party,” she only then realize she just talked way too much, and totally sounded like a killjoy, or like a grandma, and she's not sure which is worse.

“Tip number one; never ever trust one of those intoxicated guys at parties, and don't let them ruin the perception you have of men in general either. And I'm sorry you had bad experiences at parties in the past, but we're in London my dear, and I think it might be different from Las Vegas. I just want you to come with me so that you can be a part of a party and meet loads of people, it's the best way to meet people in a new place,” she looks up from where her head is still resting on Aelyn's shoulder, “I'll make sure you meet most of my friends before though, so that you won't have to meet too many people at once.”

“When is the party?”

“In two weeks, which leave plenty of time for you to meet those bastards,” she laughs licking ice-cream off of her spoon, “they're nice so there's no need to freak out and they don't bite, well, not all of them, if you know what I mean,” she laughs one more leaving Aelyn confused. When she doesn't get a reaction, she sits back up and stare at her new roommate, “girl are you sure you're from Vegas?”

“Yes, why? Because there are a few jokes that I don't quite get?"

“Because you didn't get _that_ one,” she gasps suddenly as if she just realized something, “I heard there are a lot of Mormons in Vegas, you're one of them right? That's why sex isn't the answer for you and that explains why you didn't get my joke about biting.”

“My parents are Christians not Mormons but they're pretty religious, all of my family is actually, except for my cousin and I. So no I'm not the cliché priest's daughter who's all perfect and virtuous, but no sex isn't the answer to anything and I didn't get a joke that's not the end of the world.”

“Conservative upbringing?”

“Yes, but I don't see what your point is.”

“Sweetie, I'm gonna show you how to be more debauched, you clearly need to, I mean talking about cliché priest's kids, my friend Tyler's father is a priest and when I first met him he was the perfect cliché of that. In two months he found his first hook up and now he's just as debauched as all of us, there's no way I'll fail my mission.”

“Not everything has to do with sex, Ashley. There's nothing wrong with not having sex, I know we live in a society where sex is dominating but,” she stops a second when Ashley giggles at her choice of words, “why can't people accept that sex isn't indispensable to a human's life?”

“Okay, granted, sex isn't indispensable, especially lousy sex, and you wouldn't believe how many dudes think they can fuck you like no one else when, they do, but not in the positive way. But damn a good orgasm _is_ indispensable, it makes you feel lighter and for an hour or two depending on the intensity of it, you're like a walking marshmallow,” she steals a spoonful of ice-cream from Aelyn's tub, simply shrugging at her protest, “a bit like eating this delicious ice-cream.”

“I don't doubt that orgasms are good, it's the way to reach it that is,” she trails off, turning her attention back to the tv where Bridget is now climbing in Daniel's convertible to drive off to her uncle's party. She knows Ashley's looking at her though but she tries to ignore it.

“If a man doesn't make sure you want it enough then he doesn't deserve to touch you in the first place, sex is supposed to be like a car drive to your favourite band's concert, full of excitement and that little buzz under your skin. Then your orgasm is the actual concert. If you're not excited at the idea of fucking then you go away.”

“If you want to take this metaphor, then let's say I'm _always_ extremely sick in cars and so I'd rather walk to the concert, except there's no way to reach the concert without being in a car in the first place. So I don't go to concerts either.”

“You're not supposed to feel sick when you have sex, you should probably go to the doctor for that.”

“I'm not sick when I have sex, but I'm extremely uncomfortable at the idea of having sexual intercourses,” she admits making sure she doesn't even just glance at Ashley, “so I don't do that.”

“How do you know you're not sick when you do it if you don't do it?” Ashley asks curiously, and doesn't add an unkind comment afterwards which partly surprised Aelyn. They've known one another for a few hours now, which is not that much, but Ashley seems to be the kind who adores sex and can't understand how anyone can not want it.

“Because I did it once and I wasn't sick.”

“Oh, and that's how you found out it made you uncomfortable.”

“No, I knew it before that but I really wanted this guy to love me and obviously about ninety-nine percent of men expect sex so, things happened,” she shrugs, still staring straight ahead at the television and once more Ashley's gaze stays glued on her.

“Sweetie, if a man expect sex from you then run away from him, sex isn't something you expect from someone. And if a man loves you or can possibly develop feelings for you, sex won't matter to him, okay he'll probably be bummed at first because let's be honest they think with what's in their pants. Which is why most men aren't smart at making decent decisions, their brains are too tiny,” she laughs out loud, proud of her joke that Aelyn still doesn't get, “but after that,” she continues once she's calmed down, “love is stronger than lust, and loving someone comes with respecting their needs.”

“It goes both ways though, you can't expect someone to sacrifice a part of them to fit your needs and then not respect their own needs. If they sacrifice their sexuality for me, it's not fair to them, and if I have to push myself to do things I'm not comfortable doing, it's not fair either. So it's a mess, it's complicated.”

“It's too hard being selfless in our time,” Ashley sighs audibly, “I do believe that things happen when they're meant to happen, if they happen too soon or too late then it can't work, there's a specific time for everything.”

“And when do we know when the time is right?”

“You don't, you just have to trust your guts,” she turns to face Aelyn, the movie now long forgotten to her, “story time,” she announces, “a couple of years ago I dated this guy Matt, he was absolutely everything I wanted in a man, and I was everything he wanted too. We started dating when we found out about each other's obsession for the other and it turned out to be the wrong time. I was trying to figure out what to do with my life and he was ready to just find a job, settle down and stuff. We ended up breaking up because we weren't on the same line even though we still loved each other just as much as we did at the beginning. I figured out what I wanted to do, and in the meantime, he found someone new and got engaged and I spent long nights listening to Adele's Someone Like You on repeat,” she adds an hint of humor, laughing shortly, “the point is our guts told us to get together but it wasn't the right time for us to. And our breakup happened for a good cause, he found the love of his life after that.”

“Stressing about getting in a relationship is hard enough, if you add the stress of not doing it on the right time, you die of stress,” Aelyn half-jokes, “and if you think too much you miss your chance and it's worse than not doing it right, I think.”

“A bit like Darcy who basically waits for Bridget to date Daniel to realize he wants to be with her, that fucking moron,” Ashley laughs softly, “but in the end, he gets her so he didn't completely miss his chance, so maybe I didn't pick a good comparison. But you get what I mean, we often realize too late what we wanted all along, but it's just a part of life, it's okay, you move on and that's it.”

“You're left with what ifs though.”

“Nothing kills a man faster than what ifs, it's poisonous, when things already happened they stay like that and you just have to accept it. Yes, but what if I was married to George Clooney? Well I'd be rich and followed everywhere by nasty paparazzies, and get hate from jealous middle-aged women. But I'm not, that's how it is and George isn't even my type anyway.”

“He's not too bad considering his age,” Aelyn laughs softly, “I get what you mean though, if you keep your mind on what ifs it quickly become irrational and you can go far with that mindset.”

“Way too far, that's why I keep them out of my mind,” she squints her eyes at Aelyn, tilting her head to the side before perking up, “have you ever done anything with a girl? I mean at least with someone who has a pussy? Because maybe that's what makes you uncomfortable, having sex that involves penises!”

“You jump from one subject to another,” she laughs shortly, “I've never done anything sexual that involves vaginas except for mine, like I said, I had sex once and that's it. I'm uncomfortable with nudity and touching people's private parts no matter what it is that they have down there. I know it's complicated to understand, but, we don't ask people why they don't like flat water, they just don't like it.”

“I'm not judging sweetie, whatever floats your boat, I was just wondering because since you grew up in a religious household you could have assumed you were straight but really would rather have sex with women, that's all. I just wanted to see if you had considered every option,” she holds her hands out in front of her, “no judgment involved.”

“Trust me, I considered every possibility, and it's always the same conclusion.”

“But like, if someone touches you, do you feel pleasure or not?”

“I do, but my discomfort overcomes the pleasure.”

“And you don't feel like you should just get used to it? I mean, it's not like it repulses you,” it suddenly feels like an interrogatory but Ashley stares at her with a curious gaze, like a little kid who asks you tons of questions about the most random stuff. She seems to have good intentions, and so Aelyn doesn't mind her questions so much.

“I think it could be different if I would feel sexual attraction for people, but I don't, and even out of love, I'm not comfortable with it, so no matter how strong my feelings are, I can't. It's a bit peculiar to explain, especially to someone who doesn't have the tools to understand, all I know is that I'm uncomfortable with sex and the idea of having sex,” she shrugs.

“You're right, I don't understand because I'd get my brain fucked out of me all day every day if I could. But it's your sexuality and you have to own it, whatever it is, it's a bum that you can't have sex even though you actually feel pleasure though,” she pouts a little, “maybe it'll change over time, or maybe not, what matters is that you understand what you feel and the rest will go smoothly.” 

“And more sex for you huh?” Aelyn laughs softly, soon joined by Ashley who nods eagerly, “you couldn't have asked for a better roommate than the one you got.”

“I must say, dear, that that's very true, you love Ben & Jerry's ice-creams, rom-coms _and_ you leave all the sex this city has to offer to me, I'm blessed to have you,” she laughs some more pulling Aelyn in a side hug, which makes her notice that Ashley smells like gardenia, and it's unbelievably pleasing. 

“I was nervous about who I'd have to live with but so far I'm pleased that it's with you.” 

“Aw,” Ashley tightens her grip, “not even a day has passed since we met and we're already being sappy? No, no, no we can't do that, where is our pride?”

Aelyn laughs and elbows her roommate, “we'll keep up the appearances when other people will be around don't worry, they won't know we're the kind to sit on a couch watching a rom-com and being extra nice to each other.”

“Good, I have a reputation to keep, can't let people think I have a heart, especially in the presence of someone I just got to know. And we can start tomorrow when I'll invite someone over for you to meet. Are you more comfortable with meeting women or men? I'd ask if you're comfortable with none but I'm not close to any so that's why.” 

“As long as it's someone who knows how to make people comfortable, I'm fine with it.”

“Uhm,” Ashley thinks for a moment, tilting her head as she watches Bridget kiss Darcy under the snow, in the middle of the street, “I think Tyler would freak you out at first, Linda would intimidate you just because she's the most gorgeous person ever, and yes even more than me,” she laughs softly, “Lucy is too quiet, Josh would be a good pick, or Danny, _or_ Joshua. We'll start off with Danny, you'll see he's a sweetheart and if you aren't instantly comfortable with him then I don't know who you can be comfortable with.”

“It's reassuring, first encounters are usually awkward,” Aelyn grimaces.

“I know, right? Well I always end up talking a lot anyway that's just how I am, but when the person in front of you isn't responsive it can get awkward and you look stupid talking and talking and talking,” she rolls her eyes, “but it won't be the case with Danny.”

And just like that Aelyn is planned to meet someone new this soon, as if moving into a new place with a new roommate wasn't enough. It would be enough for an entire month, actually. But Ashley turned out to be nice and fun to be around so far, and if she says her friend is nice as well, then maybe she can try and trust her with that. She hasn't met new people in far too long, she's been in the same closed group of friends for the past six years or so, the last person she had to meet and become friendly with was Riley and they started working at the café years ago already.

But there's no reasons for it to go the wrong way.


	2. South Park Gardens

Ashley insisted that it is a blasphemy to her not to go see the Abbey Road studios when you're coming to London for the first time, and even more when you live an hour away. And that's how Aelyn ended up walking up Abbey Road in the early hours of the morning when she should be at home sleeping and trying her best to survive to the jet lag. When you see documentaries or movies, no matter how far people travel, they're always fresh and ready to wander around. But in reality, it takes them an entire week just to stop sleeping in the daytime and get used to the new time zone. If only it was possible to edit your life as well. Cut the boring parts, put them in an order that makes much more sense than the original one. Save time to show more exciting stuff. But no such luck, it wouldn't be fun that way.

From outside, the studios look exactly the same as the rest of the buildings she's seen in London so far, there's no way you could tell this building is the most known music studio of all time. Ashley turns to Aelyn once they stop on the sidewalk, facing the studios, expecting her to look impressed or fascinated. She is impressed of standing in front of the Abbey Road studios but the sight in itself isn't impressive, not even remotely, and it makes Ashley frown at her. She feels bad for a moment, when someone you like shows you something they're excited about and you just can't see what the fuss is about, it gets awkward. It makes you feel like an ass.

“Of course, The Beatles recorded here so everyone will always talk to you about this, but did you know that amazing bands like Queen recorded here too? Along with artists like Kate Bush? Who are quite literally some of the best artists of all time,” Ashley starts explaining excitedly, “it's funny because the Beatles' album wasn't even supposed to be named Abbey Road, its name was supposed to be Everest. They wanted the album artwork to be a picture of them at the Everest and all but for an unknown reason they decided to take the famous picture in a nearby street and changed the album title.”

“Is that a true story?”

“That's what I heard at least, and I think that's a pretty neat story so I like to spread it around whenever I can,” she laughs softly.

“It is a nice story,” Aelyn says looking at every detail of the building trying to find something that differentiate it from the rest, but she finds nothing, “you know, every tourist wants to come here and snap pictures of it, but from the outside it's nothing special, they just think it is because of what it represents. A bit like the Eiffel Tower, all year long there are a crazy amount of tourists going there and taking pictures because it's a symbol of France and it's what you hear about ever since you're a kid. When really, it's an ugly monument, but they pretend it's beautiful because that's what's expected.”

“Coming from someone who comes from the city that ripped of the Eiffel Tower,” Ashley jokes and nudges Aelyn.

“The hype with Paris is so enormous there's even a syndrome associated to it, for when tourists go there and are disappointed, that's crazy,” she shakes her head and laugh when Ashley's widen, “I'm not kidding, it's a well-known fact.”

“Tourists are out of their fucking minds,” she laughs with Aelyn, “but I guess it's like being a huge fan of someone and the day you meet them they end up being the biggest jerk in history. It's pretty sad, but losing your mind over it, come on.”

“To their defense, they find out what they've dreamed of most of their lives was an illusion so I can understand their disappointment, and some people are more fragile mentally than others, so there's also that,” she shrugs, “but it's still a crazy idea to imagine so many people are affected that they gave it a name, it's actually a syndrome now.”

“Remind me that if you ever see me being sad over something, I'm sure it'll never fail to make me laugh,” Ashley instructs her, “to be honest, Paris is a beautiful city to me but the most important thing about it is the Louvre museum, definitely not the Eiffel Tower. And Milan is a far more beautiful city, you'll have to go one day, you'll see it's gorgeous. Completely different from London, it's a bit dull here, but you get used to it over time.”

“I noticed, that and the fact it is more cramped up than Vegas, in the sense that every building is against the other. In Vegas, you can drive miles and see maybe three buildings on your way, mostly shady motels by the way. Here you see a new store every second,” she looks around them and extend her arms in the air, “look around, you can't breathe here.”

Ashley laughs at how dramatic Aelyn is, “that's what parks are for my dear, oh by the way! We have to meet the boys at the South Parks gardens, and no it has nothing to do with the animated sitcom,” she rolls her eyes jokingly, “you'll see it's a nice place.”

“The boys?” Aelyn asks in confusion, she knows she's supposed to meet Danny soon, but Ashley used the plural form so she can't help but wonder who else would be there. Especially since they agreed to see Danny first because he is the most social and can put Aelyn at ease even on their first encounter.

“Yes, there'll only be Danny and Tyler, Joshua was supposed to come but he has to work at the office today, who the hell works on a Saturday? Okay most people work on Saturdays but it's a part of the weekend so it shouldn't be allowed to work on those days. Urgh,” her shoulders slump dramatically for a second before going back to their initial position, “reminds me that we're going to school on Monday, this break was definitely not long enough, they should give us an extra week or something.”

“I didn't even get the chance to get used to the new time zone,” Aelyn sighs, “if I sleep on you on the way to school on Monday, or even in class, you'll know the reason why. Traveling is exhausting.”

“I'll let you sleep on my boobs, they're comfortable, you'll have a good sleep on it,” she laughs brightly, “Mr. Dunforth will probably look at it as offensive or some kind of bullshit like that, but hey my girl can take a nap on portable pillows if she feels like it, damn it.”

“And Mr. Dunforth teaches what?”

“Oh right, he teaches art history, it's not the most interesting course we have to take but sometimes we learn anecdotes about painters and it just makes you realize that they weren't almighty and that they fucked up artistically too.”

“That's nice. I love anecdotes, it makes the artists more human and not solely the amazing souls who painted masterpieces,” she smiles excitedly, realizing that she is indeed in London to study art, she never would've thought she might do it. She was convinced that after college and after everyone she knew got jobs and started building their personal lives at the same time, it was too late for her to try. But it's never too late to work on fulfilling your dream, and she's the living proof, standing on the Abbey Road sidewalk.

Ashley blows a kiss towards the studios and in no time, they're walking again towards the subway station they came from. The subway is definitely Aelyn's least favorite place in London already, she's not used to it, but she doesn't think she'll ever get used to the insistent looks from older men, the smell of alcohol mixed with sweat and garbage cans, everything about it is repulsive, in every way. Ashley protectively wraps an arm around Aelyn's shoulders even though they're the same height when a man approaches them, you'd expect him to stink of alcohol, or to look menacing, but he's neither, he's rather good-looking, wearing a suit and tie.

“Where are two hotties like you going huh?” he asks in a low voice leaning against the window right next to Aelyn's head, she automatically looks down at her feet, scooting even closer to Ashley.

“That's none of your business, don't you have better things to do than talking to girls in the tube? Because I have plenty of better things to do than stand here and listen to you say what you think are compliments in that little brain of yours,” Ashley says defiantly, which scares Aelyn for a minute, talking back to a stranger can go wrong in so many ways.

“I'm sure you're not bothered by my compliments, you can't expect to stand in the tube, dressed like that and not get comments from men around you, we're only human, you know,” he shrugs with a smirk that could be charming in any other context, but right here, right now, it's more frightening than anything else.

“Oh don't worry, I'm completely open to receiving compliments, such as, a man walking by and telling me politely that I look beautiful in my outfit and then walk away, that's the kind of comment that can brighten my day. You know why? Because it's respectful and not insistent at all. However, what _you_ are doing can't be defined as giving compliments.”

“Why do you have to be such a bitch? Your friend is more docile at least, I like that,” he says turning his attention to Aelyn whose heart might pop out of her chest at any second now, why is the subway taking this long to go back to south Wimbledon?

“Docile?” Ashley raises her voice, “do you think she's a fucking puppy or something? She's scared you fucking moron, but I'm not, I'm used to sick little freaks like you, so just try me to see, you'll regret it once the tiny little things you call balls fall on this dirty ground and roll away from your bleeding crotch. And when that happens, I hope you'd run away as fast as you can despite the pain or I'd cut your half existent dick as well.”

The man takes a step backwards, his eyes widening as Ashley stares at him with the scariest look she can manage, “you're a freak girl, a damn freak.”

Once he walks away making sure he doesn't stop until he is at the other end of the wagon, Ashley takes a look at the people staring at her, and raise her eyebrows, “what? Can't a girl defend herself the best she could? It's not like you cowards would be of any help anyway,” they immediately look away from the both of them, as if nothing had happened.

“Are you okay sweetie?” she asks Aelyn, lifting her chin with her index finger, “don't you worry, none of these bastards will ever touch you, I'd attack them way before they can even think about doing it.”

“You're crazy, you know that? This man could've easily manhandle you,” Aelyn whisper-yells, still shook by what just happened, “something could happen to you if you talk back like that.”

“Are you asking me to let creeps think what they're doing is okay? Because there's no way in hell I would. Yes, something could happen to me but if I don't do anything they'd feel like they have power, and dominance, and they'd feel free to touch me or go further with their words which are just as degrading,” she combs her fingers through Aelyn's hair and sigh, “I know it's scary at first, but unfortunately you get used to it after a while and they end up being way less scary. But there are some men I don't talk back to, I'm not suicidal, in those moments, I just run away as fast as I can. Plus, I barely walk in the streets at night by myself, I always have a male friend with me.”

“I hate subways,” Aelyn mumbles, “it's official.”

Ashley laughs softly, “good thing we don't have to take it often, we can go to school by foot and the boys have their driving licenses, so we can go pretty much anywhere, as long as they tag along.”

“Talking about the boys, you said I'd meet Danny soon but you didn't say there'd be Tyler, and if I remember well he's the one who's intimidating.”

“I know, but they live together, so if I plan to meet one of them the other one wants to come, plus they wanted to meet my new roommate, so I couldn't really say no. You know how boys are, can't make them jealous of the other one,” she rolls her eyes, “they're big babies.”

“I guess if they want to meet me, that's a good thing, it means they'll be friendly, right?”

“Of course they'll be, I know how to pick my friends, thank you very much.”

 

***

 

South Park Gardens are beautiful, even more on a sunny day like this one, there are trees all around, grass everywhere except for the few paths surrounding it and brightly colored flowers. There are plenty of families, parents sitting on the ground, talking, and kids running around playing with one another and laughing together. It could be perfect, but Aelyn's certain in approximatively ten minutes one of the kids will trip and fall and hurt themselves and cry so loudly the entirety of people present will hear them.

Ashley got a text from Danny, telling her that him and Tyler would be waiting by the drinking fountain, it's apparently a specific point because Ashley didn't hesitate a second before walking along the right path when they entered the gardens. Aelyn fell into step behind her, looking at her surroundings on the way to the drinking fountain.

After a couple of minutes walking, Ashley waves ahead of her, catching Aelyn's attention who looks in the direction of her waves to see two men standing next to the fountain, one of them, the tallest, waves back at them. The tallest is incredibly thin, with messy dark brown hair and a navy-blue trench coat, he reminds her of Ryan in some way, which tugs a little at her heart.

The day she left, he insisted to drive her to the airport since she doesn't have her driver's license, they didn't talk much during the car ride, both too focused on the radio and not knowing what to say. However, when time had come for her to embark, he pulled her into one of the tightest hugs they've ever exchanged. He made her promise to call him and skype him, so she did. She would have called him the second she arrived, but in the past few weeks that preceded her departure, their relationship wasn't as special as it used to. She tries not to read too much into it, both of them were still worried about Brendon, and upset about their argument in the courtroom. But after every period of time where your relationship with someone get colder, it's complicated to go back to how it used to be. Every interaction is awkward and tentative at first, and she's not sure she could deal with it for now.

The other man, is slightly shorter, his hair is neatly combed, his skin much tanner than his friend's, he's dressed in all black, in a simple hoodie and a pair of jeans. Judging by their appearance, Aelyn would get the tallest is Tyler and the other one is Danny, just because as they approach the boys, the tallest looks slightly more intimidating.

“Hey bitches, what's up with you?” Ashley says as a greeting, pulling them both in a tight hug, “I need to warn you not to be assholes because I almost cut balls in the tube and I'm in the mood to.”

The tallest takes a step backwards, hands held in front of him in surrender, “I'm always a sweetheart, you should know that by now, _dear._ ”

“I know you two, that's exactly why I said what I said, now without teasing you any longer, please welcome my new roommate, the beautiful, adorable and sweet Las Vegan, I named Aelyn,” she announces in a professional voice, applauding Aelyn as she took a few steps closer to the boys who immediately turn their attention to her, looking at her from head to toe. Ashley places her arm around her waist and pull her closer, to see if she's tensed or more relax.

“Hello,” the tallest approaches taking a hold of her hand to kiss the back of it which makes both Aelyn and Ashley laugh softly, “it's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Daniel, but you have the right to call me Danny,” he says with a wink. Aelyn's guess was wrong then. From this close, she can see that he has green eyes, his features are soft and nicely carved, he almost looks childlike, not intimidating at all. Maybe a little bit, but it has more to do with his good looks than anything else.

“Aelyn, but Ashley already said that,” she laughs softly.

“I'm Tyler,” the other one says, he waves at her with a soft smile and even though he isn't as good looking as Danny, which is a good thing because hanging out with an army of impressively good-looking people would probably cause Aelyn to die of a heart attack. Other than that, he isn't as intimidating as she would have expected, his gaze is a bit intense when his face is resting though, the kind that makes you wonder if he secretly hates you or want to murder you. Probably none, especially since they only met about a minute ago.

“Nice to meet you,” she replied, biting the inside of her lower lip through a smile directed at the both of them.

“So Ashley said you're vegan?” Danny asks genuinely curious, as if he met an alien for the first time in his life which makes Aelyn frown because she's not vegan and Ashley didn't say that, at least not when she introduced her. _Oh_ , okay.

“Actually, I'm not vegan, Ashley said I'm Las Vegan which is the name of people who live in Las Vegas, nothing to do with the diet,” she laughs softly, quickly followed by Ashley who bursts out laughing once she realizes the misunderstanding.

“Good job dummy,” Tyler tells him, nudging him.

“It isn't my fault if Ashley doesn't know how to pronounce words, I knew all the Ariana Grande she listens to would get to her head,” Danny whines, rolling his eyes.

“Don't you dare disrespect Ariana just because you're a music snob doesn't mean you have to rub off on all of us,” Ashley retorts, “and my enunciation is flawless, stay pressed.”

“You just got burned dude,” Tyler laughs softly.

“No, I didn't,” he almost pouts and cross his arms over his chest, “and I'm not a music snob, I just don't listen to what you like to listen to most of the time, last time I checked it wasn't a crime.”

“Did I upset you dear?” Ashley asks through a pout, “come here,” she pulls him in a hug, laughing softly as she rubs his back like a mother comforting her child.

“Quit mothering me,” Danny whines pulling away, “let's just sit somewhere we look stupid standing in the middle of the path, and I must say I'd appreciate to sit because I'm tired.”

 _Thanks God, this dress is long enough,_ Aelyn thinks as she sits on the grass, there's no way you can sit on the floor properly when you're wearing a dress that is mid-thigh or shorter. You can't tuck your legs on the side, nor cross them, nor even sit crossed-legged, the only position you can be in is with your legs extended in front of you and it's not practical when you're sitting in circle. Ashley made a right choice when she decided to wear shorts this morning, even though it was more because she was convinced it'd influence the weather and the day would be brighter. So far, Aelyn must admit that it seems to work pretty well.

“So, ready to go back to hell on Monday?” Ashley asks leaning her elbows on her knees, “how does time passes at the speed of a snail when its tired the entire time we go to school, but the second we get a break it runs like a cheetah?”

Tyler groans rubbing the side of his face, “I don't know, I failed science in university, I wouldn't be of any help. I'm not too bummed about going back to school to be real with you, I can't wait to see where our play goes, even though I should finish writing the first act if I want it to go anywhere,” he frowns staring at the ground for a moment, “however, I'm not too keen on the idea of seeing those kids again, we're in our mid-twenties for crying out loud, and we're stuck with sixteen-year-olds.”

“Look at you being a special snowflake,” Ashley jokes, “I know they're loud and annoying but that's what happens when you decide to follow a course in a college Tyler.”

“Fair enough, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.”

“What are you guys studying?” Aelyn asks, fiddling with her dress until Tyler glances down at her hands, she pretends to be smoothing down her dress and clears her throat.

“I'm studying arts, drawing, that kind of stuff,” Ashley starts even though both of them know that Aelyn knows about it already since they have the same teachers, “which also involves history of arts, theory, and a course where we wander in different part of the town to find inspiration for a next piece based on a theme we're given. That's the best thing you could choose to study to be honest, much more fun than these guys subjects.”

“Fine arts aren’t too bad either,” Danny retorts, “that's what I study by the way, it's mostly conceptual art, sculpture and photography, but not the kind of bullshit we see random people posting on Facebook thinking they are photographers just because they have an expensive camera. And yes, it sounds snobbish but it's the truth,” he shrugs, “I personally enjoy sculpture more because it involves touching and feeling, but I enjoy the others too otherwise I wouldn't have decided to study them.”

“Isn't drawing a fine art too?”

“It is. But since they couldn't name the course photography-sculpture-conceptual art they decided to name it that way for the sole reason that it was simpler that way,” Danny explains with a soft smile and a shrug.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” she laughs softly before turning her attention to Tyler, “and so you study theatre, right?”

“Not exactly, it is related to theatre though, there's theatre design class, along with what you could call a writing class, where a part of the group writes, another one is in charge of bringing it to life and the third one is the cast. We change roles every play so that it's not always the same group writing for example,” he explains calmly, “and not to brag but, my course is far better than yours.”

“Theatre is beyond cool, it must be so interesting to create a play from a to z, it must require an enormous amount of work though, it's impressive,” Aelyn says in awe.

“Thanks, we're pretty good at what we're doing, I take pride in that,” he nods seriously before breaking into a smile, “I saw the creations students in the drawing course have made and it's just as impressive. Even though, _my_ course remains the best, obviously.”

Ashley slowly leans towards Aelyn as if she were about to tell her a secret but she makes no effort to hide what she's saying, speaking at a normal volume, “I should have told you that these two are pretentious and full of themselves,” she bursts out laughing when she sees their fake shocked faces, “don't worry, that's just what they want to make you believe, I tamed them, they're nice little boys now.”

“I've always been a nice little boy,” Tyler whines.

“Too nice even, but with a little fuck boy side, and _that_ 's the part of you I tamed, and I'm proud of it, immensely so,” she brings a hand to her heart, faking a sob.

“I wasn't _that_ much of a bad guy, I just had to learn a thing or two about women, nothing dramatic,” he points out, “don't try and make me seem like a dingus, you dingus.”

“Hey, slow down there with the heavy insults Ty, you might shock an innocent soul like Aelyn's,” Danny jokes, earning a middle finger from his friend and a roll of eyes from Aelyn.

“Maybe I shouldn't have introduced you to these stupid kids to begin with, I should have introduced you to Linda, you'd have been overwhelmed by her beauty but in the next two minutes you'd have gotten used to it. Their stupidity?” she asks not really expecting an answer, “you never get used to it.”

Both Tyler and Danny protest, making the girls laugh, “don't worry, they're not too annoying, I think I'll survive around them,” Aelyn says with a snobbish voice, the guys turn to her with their eyebrows raised, expression almost identical, “but it's nice to know you guys, really, I kind of expected to come here and not get along with my roommate and be by myself at school and stuff. So it's nice for me to see that I was wrong.”

“Don't become emotional or I'm going to be too and I didn't plan this so my false lashes might fall off if I cry, because let me be honest here, this new glue I bought is nowhere near water resistant enough,” Ashley laughs softly, “we all freaked out when we moved away from our little comfort zone, so I can only understand how you felt. And as long as you're not stabbing me in the back or create drama in my group of friends, there's no way I won't be friendly with you. And I control these little puppies so they'll follow whatever I do.”

“We can think for ourselves, thank you very much,” Tyler tells her through the fakest of smiles.

“But,” Danny chimes in, speaking loud enough to get everyone's attention, “it's really nice to meet you too, we didn't know what kind of roommate Ashley might have gotten, and if it would have been someone she hates then we'd have had to go through hours and hours of rant about every little thing her roommate does that she hates. And nobody has enough time for Ashley's rants.”

 

***

 

“How come the wi-fi is being capricious in my bedroom but completely fine in every other room?” Aelyn asks loudly, sitting in front of her laptop on her bed, desperately trying to get the internet to work for the past hour.

Ashley's voice didn't take long to echo from her own bedroom, “it is a bit of a bitch, it should work just fine if you settle at your desk though. I know it's far more comfortable on your bed but be a civilized human being and sit at your desk.”

“Thanks,” she sighs carrying her laptop to her desk, the wi-fi connection instantly gets better. Guess she'll just have to sit at her desk whenever she wants to use the connection, it could have been worst, like having to go in the living room to use it. She stares at the skype icon for what seems like an eternity, yes Danny reminds her of Ryan but is it enough of a reason for her to call her best friend? She has no idea.

She stares at it a moment longer, her mind drifting to Brendon and how she could call him if it wasn't too early to do so in Nevada, visits aren't allowed for three more hours and Adelae won't make an exception for a skype call. It's funny because she spent a month without having any contact with him, she made it through, but after spending a few hours with him before her departure, time away from him seems like an agony that never stops growing. It is quite dramatic but feelings and emotions are often dramatic at the moment you feel them, because everything seems amplified, it's only once you don't feel it as much anymore that you realize you overreacted.

She takes a deep breath and click on Ryan's name, regretting it already the second it starts loading. She doesn't close the window though instead she sits there staring at her screen half-petrified, as it keeps loading. It doesn't stop loading though, so she sighs loudly and close her laptop with enough force to catch Ashley's attention.

“Sweetie?” she calls tentatively, “is there something wrong?”

Aelyn sighs once more and get up to go lean against Ashley's doorframe, arms crossed over her chest, “I don't want to seem like a bummer but can I ask you something?”

She looks up with raised eyebrows, and moves closer to the edge of the bed so that Aelyn can take a seat next to her. Aelyn rests her head on her roommate's shoulder, staring at the wall in front of them, “my best friend doesn't feel like my best friend anymore, I mean we were soul mates, in a friend kind of way, and once we argued about something and since then nothing feels the same. He didn't even answer my skype call.”

“Maybe he's just busy, how would you know? Nevada is a long way from here.”

“He was online, he always is.”

“Oh,” Ashley pauses, reflecting, “he's probably upset about your argument, you know men need to deal with their undying enormous egos in this kind of situation so give him time is my advice. It's never cool to see an important friendship die down a little bit, but shit happens, you'll have meaningful relationships in the future too. And if it's not over yet then you can still work to get it back on track.”

“He's been with me for most of my life now, so losing my connection with him would be like losing a parent or something like that. You never really get over it, do you?”

“No, I don't think you ever really get over your parents' deaths because they're a part of your identity and suddenly they're not there anymore so you're a bit lost. But then you get to learn more about yourself, you get to learn who you are without them to impact your life, and it's important too. You can't stay stuck in the same part of your life forever, no matter how pleasing it is.”

“So, you're hot, social, casual _and_ wise. I'm a little bit offended by that,” she laughs softly brightening the mood.

“But you're adorable like a little puppy and beautiful too, the boys would confirm that, Tyler was all heart eyes over you and Danny was trying to impress you with his good looks,” she nudges at Aelyn's side laughing brightly, “don't be too much of a heartbreaker though, men are fragile they'll never stop whining about it.”

“The friendzone hell,” they both laugh, “and I've never been a heartbreaker so I'm not going to start now, they were probably just impressed to see an American girl, that's all.”

“I've seen you stare at Danny a second too long though, were you impressed to see a British guy?” she teases waggling her eyebrows at Aelyn who rolls her eyes, “he's a nice guy, but settling down is not really his thing, now you could be an exception but I'd suggest you don't get attached to him for now.”

“I'm not interested in Danny,” she retorts, “romance is not my priority right now, I need to focus on school for now, then if romance comes along we'll see, but no, I repeat, I'm not interested in Danny.”

“But you think he's handsome, you can't deny it, I saw it in your eyes.”

“Yes he is handsome, but that's not a big deal.” 

“Ah!” Ashley exclaims, “I knew it!” 

“I just said it wasn't a big deal!” Aelyn bumps her with her shoulder, “don't tell him though, I don't need to get picked on for that, especially _that_ early after my sudden arrival in your group of friends.”

“I know how to keep my mouth shut despite how surprising it might be,” she laughs, “even though no one would pick on you for that,” she pauses then shrugs, “well maybe a little, because Danny loves to boost his own ego and making you blush or stuff would only be satisfactory to him. But I won't tell anyone so it's okay, plus it's not like you have a crush on him, you just think he's attractive there's like a giant line in the middle of both of those entities.”

“Exactly, so I'd rather not have Danny tease me about it incessantly every time I have to hang out around him,” she rolls her eyes and laughs softly.


	3. Merton Hall Road

Whoever decided it would be a good idea for school to start at eight in the morning? Granted, it isn’t all that early, but when you’re still exhausted from jetlag, it is a torture to have to get up in the morning. Aelyn managed to get used to sleeping the entire night without toss and turning due to her brain being too aware of the fact she was in a bed that wasn’t hers in a place that wasn’t hers either. Both were supposed to be hers by now though, and would be for the next two years, no matter how hard it was for her to wrap her mind around it.

When she’s finally ready to go, Ashley is already waiting for her near the door. It’s still a mystery how she can be _that_ quick at getting ready in the morning, her makeup is impeccable and her outfit well thought out. She isn’t the kind of person to plan in advance, which only adds to the mystery of her capacity to get ready quickly in the morning and look absolutely gorgeous. Aelyn on the other end, is used to take care of her in the morning, but it implies getting up earlier and she clearly wasn’t able to this morning. Instead she did a quick makeup and threw on the first dress she found. Needless to say that she doesn’t look nearly as good as Ashley does.

“Ready to go?” Ashley asks with a smile.

“I guess so.”

Ashley laughs and opens the door for Aelyn to get out, “the boys are driving us to school today, because I’m feeling lazy and I knew you’d already have troubles getting up this morning so I’m not a monster I won’t make you walk the whole way there. However, I think I need to tell you beforehand that there will be a new friend of mine with us in the car. His name is Joshua and he’s in class with Tyler,” she pauses a minute before talking again as if she had forgotten something, “it’s important that you call him Joshua though, not Josh, because we already have a Josh in our group of friends and we have to distinguish them in some way. This one is Joshua, the bright haired one you’ll meet during the day is Josh. You’ll quickly get the hang of it don’t you worry.”

“Why are you even friends with two boys named the same way?” Aelyn jokes in a soft laugh.

“It’d be easier indeed,” she laughs too, “except we can’t pick our friends depending on their names it’d be arbitrary. I tried to convince them that at least one of them goes by his middle name but both absolutely hate their middle name so here we are. One agreed to be the Joshua and the other one agreed to be the Josh of our lives. Problem solved. Except that every time we welcome someone new in our group we have to explain who’s who and it can’t be interchangeable under any circumstances.”

Sure enough, a car is parked in front of their building, Aelyn wouldn’t be able to tell what kind of car it is though, cars have never been her thing. As soon as they approach the car a head pops out from the passenger seat in the front to make sure the girls know the car is here for them. As if the only car parked half on the road right in front of their building could be here for anyone else than them. Both of them wave at Danny who beams, at least one of them was happy to be up in the morning.

Aelyn sits in the backseat between Tyler and Ashley who squeezes herself in pushing Aelyn against the dark-haired boy she couldn’t dare to look at due to the limited space that separated them. Aelyn doesn’t recognize the driver, so she figures that it must be Joshua, the new boy she had to meet on the way to a school where she’ll meet even more people she doesn’t know yet. She leans on Ashley’s side to catch a glimpse of the new boy, but is quick to go back to her initial position when he turns his head to take a look at her.

She takes a deep breath and decides that since her new encounters have gone nicely ever since she arrived, this one might hopefully not be an exception to it, “I’m Aelyn, Ashley’s new roommate,” she says enthusiastically, leaning on the side to get a better view of the driver.

“Joshua,” he smiles at her, a beautiful smile she must admit, “I figured you might have been Ashley’s roommate, if you wouldn’t have been I probably would have had had to kick you out of my car,” he jokes in an accent that certainly not a British one but Aelyn couldn’t pin point which, accents aren’t something she has much knowledge in anyway.

Quickly, the car starts and they’re on their way to school listening to whatever songs come on the radio during the trip. They don’t talk which Aelyn is thankful for, it could be overwhelming to have to maintain a conversation when all you want to do is go back to bed and you are nervous like never before. She pushes her fears aside though and decide to discreetly take a better look at Joshua in the rearview mirror. He looks about her age, his hair is rather short with a slight extra length on the top of his head. From what she has seen, his eyes are brown or hazel, they made him look almost childlike, the effect is prevented by his beard though, maybe that’s why he grew one.

Suddenly she feels a nudge from her right side and turns to face a smirking Ashley. Why is it forbidden to find people attractive and want to get to know their face more without someone assuming you’re up to something? She certainly hasn’t expected British people to be this good looking, they’re usually bland looking despite what the majority of people seem to think. But somehow, she managed to be surrounded with only good-looking people within a week after her arrival. She definitely needs to talk to Brendon about this, or maybe not, he might be like Ashley and tease her about it every time they talk over skype.

The school is rather small, which is both a blessing and a curse, in small schools everyone knows everyone, at least most of them, you can’t blend in as much as you’d like. And blending in the mass is definitely what Aelyn would like to do. The group parts ways leaving her alone with Ashley who, she knows, will tease her about catching her staring at Joshua in the car. Give her two minutes and she’ll mention it, before saying anything else even.

“So,” Ashley starts, and Aelyn knows what’s coming up, “Joshua seems to have caught your eye, huh?”

 _Here we go,_ Aelyn thinks, “I just met him and staring at him through the rearview mirror was a good way to get familiar with his face without being creepy in any way shape or form. He’s cute, that’s it. Are you going to bring up every time I find someone attractive?”

“No I won’t, I’m just trying to gauge your taste in men and you in general at the same time,” Ashley admits with a shrug, “I won’t tease you about it, I’m informing myself, that’s a complete different story. And Joshua is cute indeed, he’s definitely not the best looking of my friends, it’s tight between Danny and Linda, but that’s just my opinion.”

“I always thought British people were,” she pauses, not trying to be offensive, “bland looking, excuse me for the lack of a nicer term. And it seems that everyone I meet here is beautiful in their own way. Are all people _that_ good looking?”

“Definitely not, we have a lot of basic ugly boys in here, girls are a bit better and too many of them are straight anyway,” Ashley rolls her eyes, “there are a lot of foreign students in this school though so that explains why we’re more good-looking than the average. Linda is actually Italian, but since her mom is native from Wales she’s fluent enough in English to pass as British. Joshua is originally from Canada which you can’t tell unless you hear him talk long enough to notice his accent. Adam is American just like you. We have a bunch of French and Spanish people studying with us. British people are usually much more basic than all the beauties you’ll encounter in this school.”

“I’m glad to know I made the right choice by choosing to apply to this school,” Aelyn jokes in an attempt to soothe her anxiety.

 

***

 

One thing to know about schools is that no matter where you are on the globe, they’ll most likely all look the same. Obviously when you imagine a foreign school or place in general you tend to glamorize it, just because it is foreign so it can only be some sort of magical place, unlike where you are living at the time. But the thing is, there aren’t big differences between the two, unless, of course, you move to a place where the civilization is drastically divergent from your own. London, isn’t far from Las Vegas, western countries tend to be similar, some are just slightly more artistic such as France and Italy, but the bigger picture stays the same.

Aelyn doesn’t stop and stare at her new surroundings, she just follows Ashley through the corridors making her way through the sea of people. Most of them pass by without noticing the presence of a new student and Aelyn is grateful for it, she’d hate to be stared at even if it’s not necessarily with vile intentions.

The classroom is oddly small. That’s the first thing Aelyn notices when she enters the room right behind Ashley. A couple of girls are sitting at the back of the class, instantly looking up once they hear noise coming from near the door, they look at Aelyn from head to toe before whispering to one another. Ashley clears her throat and stares at the girls with the same look she gave the man in the subway a couple of days prior. It doesn’t take more than that for them to stop talking.

“Don’t mind them, they’re just little bitches,” Ashley says loud enough for the girls to hear before lowering her voice again, “it’s nothing against you they look that way at every single person they don’t know yet. People are overall nice in our class, those who aren’t don’t interact with the rest of us so it’s all good. In Joshua and Tyler’s class it’s different though, there are a bunch of people who think they’re the next Meryl Streep. You know Sharpay from High School Musical? That’s them. But at the same time, Tyler can be full of himself at times so he blends in nicely,” she laughs softly.

“And Josh and Linda? What do they study?” Aelyn questions curiously.

“Josh studies fine arts with Danny, for the pleasure of the teachers because having both Josh and Joshua in the same class can get messy when teachers insist on using your full first name as if it’d be a blasphemy to do otherwise,” she rolls her eyes with a soft laugh, “Linda studies with us, so you’ll have the pleasure to meet her in a little while, since she doesn’t know what it is like to arrive on time. The other members of our little group aren’t attending class in this school, they work like functioning responsible adults.”

“It’s common to have multiple students with the same name,” Aelyn points out, “I mean, most parents aren’t too creative when it comes to picking a name for their child so we obviously end up being named the same way.”

“There are too many Ashleys if you want my opinion,” Ashley laughs softly, “one time in kindergarten we were four to be named Ashley, four! Can you believe how messy it got at times? We even fought one day because the person who took care of us had called an Ashley but we didn’t know which so we fought over it, certain we were the right Ashley. After that she gave each of us an associated number so that it wouldn’t happen again.”

“I’ve been the only Aelyn I know for most of my life now, except once in middle school, there was an Eileen in my class except it was spelt a different way. And I got so upset over it because it was _my_ name and hers wasn’t even spelt correctly, so I hated her for most of the year we had to spend in the same class. She wasn’t even mean or anything, but I was upset about her having the same name as me.”

“That’s what happens when you grow up with a sense of uniqueness and then you realize you’re not as unique as you thought you were,” she nods in reflection, “I punched a girl in secondary school because she cut her hair short and I was the only one with short hair at the time, she took my sense of uniqueness away. And so I punched her right in the face. I got in trouble for the bruise she got from the hit. I did good because she kept that big purple bruise on her cheek for two weeks before it started to fade out.”

“You’re the kind to fight, that’s not really surprising if you want my honest opinion,” Aelyn admits, “you seem to be hot-headed in general.”

“I was in secondary school, of course I was hot-headed, it’s normal at that age, don’t try to make me believe you’ve never been rebellious in a way when you were a teenager. Granted, I _am_ hot-headed but I’ve tamed myself since, now I only fight if you’re really seeking a fight, I try to compose myself as much as I can.”

“Actually, I’ve never been rebellious, at least not in a physical way, I just talked back a lot.”

“Still rebellious. We’re all rebellious in our own way, some fuck around, some talk back, some fight, some get tattoos and piercings, it’s fine,” Ashley counts, “it’s normal and essential for our development, we test ourselves, see what we’re capable of doing and once we know, we’re ready to tame ourselves. Some never tame themselves, but normal people do. Usually.”

A loud ring echoes in the room from the corridor and a dozen of student floods in the classroom taking their seats mechanically, caught in their routine. They’re soon followed by a man with brown curly hair who Aelyn assumes to be their teacher.

Lunch break comes quicker than Aelyn would have thought, especially since it’s her first day and first days tend to seem endless due to being in a new environment that pushes your brain to process things slower hence why time seems to stretch until it seems you won’t be able to see the end of it anytime soon. So far, the classes are interesting, even though sketching class made her nervous and feel out of place, unlike other students she never took any art class in her life, she just figured things out by herself. So, of course, when came time for her to start sketching she got lost and grew insecure the more the class advanced. Ashley saved the day by explaining a few tricks to her though, in the end, Aelyn’s paper wasn’t as messy as it was at the beginning even though, in all honesty, it still sucked.

Both of them take a seat on the grass in front of the main building, it is only now that Aelyn remembers she was supposed to bring food for lunch but in her rush earlier in the morning she completely forgot. Ashley doesn’t seem to have brought anything either though.

“Linda is supposed to bring food for lunch, she’s Italian so we play on stereotypes and make her cook for us once in a while. She’s a good cook, she feeds the stereotype,” Ashley explains laughing softly, “she was supposed to come in class this morning though and as you’ve been able to see, she’s not here yet. She doesn’t even respond to my texts, this bitch.”

As on cue, a gorgeous blonde walks up to them with a bright smile on her face, Linda is the only girl Ashley has mentioned so it could only be her, “hello bitches,” she announces in a soft voice as she sits next to Ashley, kissing her cheek.

“Ah finally, are you aware that we had class this morning? Just because you’re born with a natural talent in art doesn’t mean you can miss on classes arbitrarily,” Ashley whines with a frown, “especially when I am in said classes.”

“That’s the biggest problem you have, admit it. And you have company though, so don’t act like I left you all alone in this cruel world when it’s clearly not the case,” Linda points out before turning to Aelyn, “I’m Linda by the way. You must be Aelyn, right?”

Aelyn nods silently, looking back and forth between the two girls sitting in front of her, “Ashley told me you were a good cook,” it clearly wasn’t the best first thing to say but it’s all she could come up with at the moment. She tends to get clumsier the more beautiful people are, and Ashley didn’t lie when she said that Linda is a beauty. She definitely is.

“Not to be full of myself but yes, I am, indeed,” she throws her hair over one of her shoulders with a smug smile, “we have the best food culture of the entire world so you bet I learned how to cook all the delicious dishes we can proudly call our own. My padre wouldn’t have let me leave the country without some family recipes that ensure a tasty dish anyway.”

“You don’t have the best food in the world,” Ashley scoffs, “Japanese food is definitely better.”

“Well, Italian food is pretty up there too, honestly,” Aelyn adds, earning a bright smile from Linda.

“See? Americans know what food is the best.”

“Are you kidding? They don’t even have their own food culture, they’re a synthesis of all the cultures in the world. They know nothing about food, as long as it’s edible they’ll be fine with it,” Ashley argued.

“Oh, because your pudding is food culture? It’s just trash and honestly I will never understand how you can judge it as edible, because let me tell you,” she pauses dramatically, “it’s not!”

“Arguing about food again?” a gravelly nasal voice intervenes from behind Aelyn, “Italian food is the best, and I am not saying that solely because our beautiful Linda was meant to cook for us today.”

“Of course you’re on her side,” Ashley rolls her eyes.

Tyler shrugs and reaches for a container and cutlery from the stack between them, “don’t worry I’m sure Danny will agree with you since, you know, he’s a whore for Japanese food.”

“I’m not!” another voice chimes in from behind them.

A minute later, all of them are sitting in circle around the containers of food Linda brought, there’s even one for Aelyn even though she didn’t know if she’d be counted. She eats in silence while the rest of the group chats enthusiastically punctuated by occasional laughter. By staying silent she learns various things about their personalities and their mindset. Linda is just as confident and bubbly as Ashley is. Tyler tends to be quiet except for a few comments here and there, but when he does you can sense how sure of himself he is, he just wants to pick his words intently before speaking. Danny is the kind of man you tend to want to avoid, he’s a flirt but in a cocky kind of way that ruins his good look. Joshua, on the other hand, is rather normal, he’s not overly confident, just enough, he’s more inclined to crack a joke here and there and smile when everyone laughs.

They’re all remotely similar, it’s no surprise they gravitated towards one another, they’re not the kind of group you wonder how they manage to be friends despite their differences. Aelyn’s group of friends back home was the opposite, they were all strongly different, to the point, no one could have ever imagined they’d be as close as they grew to be. At least, as they were before Aelyn left. Perhaps by now, they partly forgot about her, she’s been gone for a bit more than a week now, it doesn’t seem like much, but it doesn’t too much for people to forget about you.

Aelyn feels a soft nudge and it’s only then she notices she has stopped eating and is staring at her food as if the answer about the existence of the universe was written between the pastas. She looks back up and see that the group is still chatting, except for Joshua who’s looking at her with an eyebrow raised, “homesick?” he asks softly.

She nods, “a little bit.”

“Don’t worry, it’ll fade gradually, it’s just about time, really,” he reassures her and despite her attempt not to smile at his accent, she does, “see? You’re smiling already.”

“Stop flirting Joshua!” Ashley chimes in.

“Just because you flirt with everyone doesn’t mean I do the same, not everything is about flirting.”

This time, Aelyn manages not to smile at his accent. She’s watched many Canadian tv shows in her life but she somehow never picked up on the actors’ accents. It might be different when you’re caught up in what’s happening on screen, your brain shuts off those little details. When you’re having a conversation in real life though, you notice every little thing, sometimes you overthink them but other times you just notice and it feels nice.

Details catch attention more than we’d like to, there are details about us that we’d rather not be seen by others. But when it comes to other people every little detail is important, and when you finally notice them, a peculiar feeling grows in you almost a sense of contentment. There’s always something new to learn about other people, even about ourselves. Every day, we notice something new if we pay enough attention to things, and suddenly the world doesn’t seem as dull and boring, instead it becomes a vast source of details that we need to discover. It makes life more fun and interesting. It never fails to make people appear magical.

When Aelyn tunes back to what is happening, it’s already time to go back to class and everyone is already standing. With a little help from Ashley, Aelyn stands up as well, dusting off the back of her dress. Just as they did in the morning they separate with a wave, except this time, Linda is with them.

The afternoon’s class is art history which means Aelyn is free of sketching at least for today, instead she can sit and listen to the teacher talking about the different technical aspects of neo-classicism and its impact on art from the XIXth century. The painters from this era paid attention to every detail, which is fascinating to Aelyn. Of course, painters already did in the previous eras and in followings but neo-classicists wanted to represent reality the way it should, and to do so, they had to make their art as “realistic” as possible. Ingres’ portrait of the Princess de Broglie is the work that catches Aelyn’s attention the most. The details of the materials of the dress, even on the walls in the background, everything is flawlessly painted to the point even up close it is impossible to see the trace of a brush. It almost looks like a photography.

She stares at the projection of the painting on the wall behind the teacher as he speaks, going on about what demonstrates that this is a neo-classicist work of art. In that moment, she falls in love with art all over again.

The first time was when she was in her early teens, walking on the strip with her parents and Brendon who had tagged along solely because her parents forced him to. There was an old man who was sitting near a clothes store, drawing portraits for two dollars, which attracted every tourist present on this spring season. It wasn’t the first time she came across one of those street artists obviously since it’s pretty frequent, but it was the first time she stopped to look at what the man was doing. His hand flew arbitrarily on the paper as he kept glancing at the woman sitting in front of him and gradually, her features appeared on the paper almost looking like a picture. Except he didn’t have to just click on a button for her to be captured, it all came from his hands guiding his pencil on the paper. It seemed like magic at the time.

Back then, Brendon used to draw a lot when he locked himself up in his room, mostly animals, but Aelyn had never paid attention to the process. They didn’t get along and she couldn’t have cared less about what Brendon might have been doing at the time. When he left the house, he didn’t bring his sketchbook with him, and since it wasn’t completely filled she used it as her first, mostly because she knew her parents never would have bought one for her. But also, maybe in a way because she missed him and the fights they’d get into almost on a daily basis.

She fell in love with art a second time, when she managed to draw something decent after failing so many times she had lost the count. She fell in love again, when she went to an exposition with Ryan on her birthday. And today, she falls in love with art another time, by seeing this painting of a princess in a blue dress.

On the way home, Danny doesn’t tag along, having to go to his job, so Aelyn sits alone with Ashley in the back, the boys having decided to sit at the front. It was Tyler’s turn to be in charge of the radio and no one has the right to drive Joshua’s car besides him. The ride is calm, and soon the girls are back in their apartment.

Aelyn sits at her desk, since it’s the only place where you can get decent wi-fi in the bedrooms. Ashley is off to take a bath, her ritual after a day at school, it “washes people’s bullshit off of her” as she says herself.

She stares at the screen trying to calculate what time it is in Las Vegas, to know if she can call Brendon now. She quickly comes to the conclusion that it’s far too early for visits, and it’ll stay too early for the next four hours or so. Aelyn sighs and leans back against the back of her chair, considering calling Ryan, even though she already tried when she arrived and he didn’t pick up despite being online.

With a deep intake of air, she clicks on Ryan’s name and wait. Within a minute she changes her mind and goes to exit when her friend’s face suddenly appears on the screen taking her aback. She smiles nervously, waving awkwardly as a way to say hello. It’s ten in the morning right now in Vegas, it’s almost a miracle he is awake and not fast asleep snoring loud enough to wake up the neighbors.

“Hello there,” he says in his usual monotone.

Aelyn takes a deep shaky breath, it’s not the moment to be homesick, or emotional. What would it look like, if she starts crying when she’s been here for approximatively a week? She’s meant to be happy here, that’s what she wanted after all. It shouldn’t be this nerve-wracking.

“Hey,” she almost whispers, “you’re up earlier than usual today, I kind of expected you to be asleep right now.”

“Well no, miracles happen on certain occasions,” he jokes through a soft laugh, “I am actually trying my best to get up earlier in the morning, surprisingly I am more effective and creative in the morning than I am during the night.”

“And you’ve come to the conclusion by yourself? It was about damn time, do I need to remind you the amount of times I told you to get up earlier? That it would be good for your work?”

“What can I say, I am a stubborn man, I need to come to conclusions by myself otherwise I refuse to even consider it,” he shrugs, “that way, I can say I am the smart person who thought of it and not give the credit to someone else. You know how I am.”

“Oh yes, I know,” Aelyn rolls her eyes fighting off a smile, “why do you want to increase your creativity though?”

“Well, I finally decided to give in and listen to one of my closest friends who once told me that I should write despite what I might have been told about my talent and started to write a novel to hopefully send to publishers,” he smiles proudly, “but that is no big deal at the moment, I am just writing my ideas in form of a draft and then the real work will start with editing the storyline, add scenes, details, and all of that.”

Aelyn smiles wide at the screen, tears forming in her eyes, “I would have left far earlier if it only took that for you to realize you should write again,” she half-jokes, “I’m proud of you, you’ll be published I don’t doubt that, you know how much I’ve always loved your writing. Richard doesn’t know how to recognize true talent when he sees it, despite how highly you think of him.”

“I still do not think I am half as talented as you think I am, but I figured trying could not hurt, the worst that can happen is that I get negative responses from publishers, it is not dramatic,” he pauses, looking intently at Aelyn through the screen for a moment, before speaking again, “and you? How are things going in London? Is your roommate nice? And classes?”

She laughs softly at the sudden flow of questions, “my roommate is nice, she’s the kind of person who talks constantly and is instantly open with you, but also the kind of person you don’t want to mess with. She doesn’t seem to give second chances. I’m doing good so far, I have to get used to London, it’s far different from Vegas, so are the people in here but it’s not unpleasing, it just requires adjusting. I’ve had my first day of class today and I feel a bit out of place in certain classes because I don’t have the same skills as the others. I’m a bit behind, and I strongly dislike that.”

“To be fair, they have been taking classes for longer than you so it is normal, but you have talent, it is quite similar to living in London, it just needs adjustments to be done. You can do it,” his tone is reassuring, in a way it hasn’t been in what seems like an eternity now, she wants to hug him, just curl up against his chest and let herself feel small but protected. His hugs have always been magical, “did you made new acquaintances? Besides your new roommate.”

“Yes, surprisingly a lot, all through my roommate, her name’s Ashley by the way. You wouldn’t believe how beautiful they are, each of them, they’re gorgeous but like, a Devonne level of beauty. You would think that British people would be far blander looking,” she laughs knowing Ryan knew exactly what she meant, “it could be explained by the fact some of them aren’t British, there’s a girl from Italy, her name is Linda and trust me her parents didn’t mess up when they named her that way. There’s a Canadian too. And one guy who looks weirdly like you, like super tall and so thin it is a mystery how he can stand up without his legs splitting in two.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it, I know I am skinny, I took pride in being the skinniest man you have ever met and now I have competition, that is unfair,” Ryan whines with a dramatic pout.

“Don’t worry, you’ll always be the skinniest, or at least the most special of all the scrawny guys that have ever existed,” she coos laughing when she’s met with a bright childish smile, “he seems like the kind of guy who knows he looks good and think it puts him above everyone else though and trust me, it makes him lose a huge part of his charm. Being confident is great, we all should be to an extent, but when you think so highly of yourself that you look down on people who surround you, there’s a problem.”

“I am going to assume he is younger than I am and tell you that it is frequent that at a specific point in your life when you gain confidence you tend to push it farther than the limit of reasonable. I went through that, and looking back I think it was ridiculous, but at least it allowed me to transition between overly insecure and decently confident, I needed to find myself. Along with the view I had of myself. Perhaps, it is the same for him. I do not know though, not everyone is the same and works the same but that is my input.”

“Rare are the people who are like you.”

Ryan smiles at her words, however Aelyn can’t help but notice an underlying emotion to it, she wouldn’t define it as sadness but something close enough, “I can be a bad person more often than not though.”

“You can be a bad person _sometimes,_ ” she corrects him stressing on the last word, “but that’s because you’re a human being, and the complexity of human beings makes us good and bad at the same time. Don’t be Manichean. You’re smart enough not to be.”

“All I am implying is that on the balance of good and bad I oftentimes tend to lean towards the bad side rather than the good and you can not really argue with that.”

“You’ve been reflecting about yourself lately, haven’t you?”

“I have yes, someone close to me moved away on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean it was propitious for it,” Ryan admits, shrugging and slowly rubbing his chin, “and this is not me going through a ‘poor me’ kind of moment, just so you know.”

“It’s funny you talk about that because I happen to have moved recently, to a place that’s far away from my friends, especially from my favorite person in the world, so I get what you mean,” she leans her elbow on the desk, holding her chin in her hand, “I have to admit after the way things went between us before I left, I was scared not to hear from you again. I tried to call you the other day and you didn’t answer so my head went wild over it.”

“After the elongated period of time we have known one another, do you truly believe I would stop contacting you simply due to disagreements we might have had,” he reassures her, his voice growing softer, “you know how it is, we argue and then we remain upset and quiet for a little while but in the end, we always gravitate towards one another. It just happened at the moment you were about to leave and it was obviously not the right time for it to happen. And I meant to answer your call but I needed to finish the idea I was writing out before doing so and by the time I was done, you were offline.”

“I guess I was so nervous about my departure that I twisted things to make me even more nervous about it,” she sighs before smiling tiredly, “I’m glad we’re okay though.”

“You can be at peace now,” they exchange a long silent look and Aelyn knows if they were face to face right now, it’s the moment where he’d be pulling her into a tight hug. She wishes he’d be here to, “things are not the same as they used to be without you. I am not saying that to make you question yourself and your choices I am just sharing this information with you. I have been used to see you every day for the past years and I need to learn how to live without you constantly by my side again.”

“Things aren’t the same without you either, I haven’t been hugged in the past week or so and it’s the longest I’ve spent hug-less since I’ve met you, I think that’s the worst,” she pouts cutely to emphasize her complain, “and my roommate is nice and we spend good times together but it’s not the same as with you and the gang, we have a special connection and I am as comfortable with you as I am with myself. With Ashley, I’m a bit more cautious, because I haven’t known her for a long time yet.”

“You are someone who loves intensity, if your relationships with people are not consuming your soul you tend not to put any form of effort into it. Just because you are not intensely connected yet does not mean it can not be the same as with me or the gang, you just need to grow comfortable with the new people you meet.”

“Ouch,” she winces jokingly.

“Look, the only person you have been in love with these past years is me, and do not get me wrong I am not complaining about having this special place. But we connected, whatever it was that happened between us on the night of your prom, it was intense, as if our souls made a pact while we danced and promised to stay linked for the rest of time. And you will not fall in love again until you find an intense connection with someone,” he explains calmly, visibly choosing his words carefully, “it is not a reproach, but you should open your heart to people who want to get inside it, not all of them, do not open your heart arbitrarily, especially to those who do not deserve it. But give people their chance, just because it is not intense right away does not mean it can not be a beautiful connection that grows with time.”

“You really thought a lot in the past week,” Aelyn laughs softly trying to ignore the rising heat in her cheeks, “I know that’s the way I am but I can’t really control my heart and when it opens and when it doesn’t, I’ll try to follow your advice though, I’ll do my best and I pinky promise it just so you can be sure I am honest.”

“I am saying that for your well-being, that is all I care about.” 

“Talking about well-being, I don’t want to be an ass but have you visited Brendon?” 

“I went two days ago but he was occupied in a creative activity and if I am entirely honest I was glad I could not see him then,” when Aelyn frowns he’s quick to defend himself, “I have the right to be nervous about seeing him, I do not know if he wants to see me, or what I am supposed to say to him. We have not talked since the trial, I have not been here when he settled at the hospital and that is certainly when he needed me the most.” 

“He had me, I could provide all the support I have in me even though it’s not the same as if his own boyfriend would have been here. But now, you can change things and be here for him, he won’t be mad at you, and even if he would be, he’d be upset and you’d give him his space and go back to visit him and everything would be fine again, don’t let him down, he loves you.” 

“You know what?” Aelyn shakes her head silently asking him to continue, “if you pinky promised to follow my advice, then I will follow yours.” 

A soft knock echoes from Aelyn’s door, followed by Ashley calling for her to move her ass out of her room, which made Aelyn laughs softly, “I’m coming, just give me two minutes.” 

“I will get going as well, I have ideas to write for my novels, go spend some time with your roommate, and do not forget what I said.”

“As long as you don’t forget what I said either.”

“I will not, do not worry. I will talk to you again soon, right?”

“Yes, obviously,” she rolls her eyes, a light smile tugging at her lips.

“Good. We will talk later then, I love you.”

“I love you too,” she says through a smile as she exits the window. For a moment everything was the same way it had always been, everything was in its righteous place. As if Ryan had been here with her and not thousands of miles away.


	4. Hambledon Road

Aelyn hates parties. Actually, she loves them, but the kind of parties she loves and enjoys are not what most people would define as parties. Being stuck in a house with a bunch of people you don’t know, who drink alcohol in an unreasonable amount and dance drunkenly or make out in a corner, is definitely not her definition of a good time. Ashley on the other hand is much more inclined to have a good time at those parties, and she’s not going to judge her for that but she wishes her roommate would understand that Aelyn personally doesn’t. She’s willing to give it a shot though, at least to please Ashley, and say she at least tried.

“What should I wear?” Aelyn asks her roommate from her room.

“I suggest not to wear a dress, I know you’re a dress kind of girl but it’s definitely not the most practical and people tend to spill their drinks over you, and it’s easier the clean a t-shirt or a pair of trousers than it is to clean a dress,” Ashley calls back from her own room, “go simple, casual and practical.”

“I mostly have dresses though.”

“What do you even wear when you’re too lazy to shave your legs?”

“I put tights on,” Aelyn shrugs even though Ashley can’t see her at the moment.

“Well I could lend you a pair of trousers but I’m not too sure we are the same size, especially since I like them tight. Would you happen to have a pair of shorts instead? It works perfectly fine as well.”

“I do have pants, I just need to find them and pick a pair I actually like wearing and feel good enough in to spend the entire night in them,” she sighs and drops down on her bed, “I don’t like shorts though, unless it’s for home, thick thighs and shorts don’t particularly get along well.”

Ashley laughs loudly, “that’s very true, I give you that.”

She stares at her clothes for a moment, trying to think of a pair of pants she enjoys wearing, suddenly she remembers a plain pair of dark skinny jeans that she hasn’t worn in a while but that at least still have its full blackness. She tries them on with a printed t-shirt and decides it is good enough to be comfortable but still look presentable to the people she hasn’t met yet.

They’re not meant to go to Luis’ house for two more hours, the remaining time to kill between the moment you’re ready and the moment you have to leave is always the worst. You don’t have enough time to start doing anything but you also have too much time to just sit around and wait for time to pass. Aelyn sits at her desk and opens skype, hopefully it won’t be too early for her to call Brendon.

After a few minutes, she’s met with Adelae’s smiling face, “hello there, I suppose it is a call for Brendon, right?”

“Yes,” Aelyn nods nervously, impressed that Adelae remembers her, even though she might have a way to know who is calling.

“I’ll be right back,” she announces in a bubbly tone, before disappearing from the screen. Aelyn can feel her heart beats increasing in speed the more she waits for Brendon to appear on the screen. She shouldn’t feel as nervous as she does right now, calling him now was maybe not the best of ideas, she has enough stress from the upcoming party. Soon enough though, a familiar face appears on the screen as the person settles on the leather chair.

“Hey there,” Aelyn says softly, noticing how out of character Brendon seems to be.

“Hey,” he almost whispers before smiling and leaning on his elbow to get closer to the screen, “I’m sorry I might be a bit weird, we’re trying a treatment lately and it doesn’t suit me so the doctor will change it soon. But until then, I have to take the ones I currently have.”

“That’s okay,” she coos, “how are you feeling lately? Is your therapy working? I mean you might not feel the effects of it on you yet but maybe you can a little bit.”

“Therapy is fine, doctor’s nice, I don’t feel that much better for now, it might start affecting me later on though,” he lists absentmindedly.

“I’m sure it’ll get better, it certainly will when your medication will be more adapted to you, then you’ll be able to feel the effects of therapy more,” she reassures him, “I’ll be here with you through the entire process, I promise you.”

“Here as in thousands of miles away? Sure,” he spits bitterly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a dick or make you feel guilty. It’s just that I miss you and I wish you could visit me physically instead of having to talk to you through a screen. But I am happy about the opportunities you have, and that you can do what you’ve always wanted to do. I just selfishly wish you’d be here.”

“I am with you though, not physically but I’ll call you as much as I can even though time zones can be annoying, and even when I don’t call you, I’m with you through thoughts, always,” she pauses, biting her lip, “you have so much strength in you, and I promise that you can make it through whether I am physically by your side or not.”

Brendon nods slowly, looking increasingly tired even though it is the afternoon in Las Vegas, “I love you, I know we say it rarely and it’s not common in our family to say it, but I do, I really do,” he pauses, however not long enough for Aelyn to say anything before he speaks up again, “how are things going in London? Is it nice where you are?”

“It’s nice, it’s different from Vegas obviously but it’s nice so far, the people I’ve met are sweet and beautiful so it helps feeling more comfortable in this new life,” she shrugs not wanting to go too much into details at the moment knowing Brendon wouldn’t be able to process numerous information at once, “I have a really soft mattress though, well not extremely marshmallow kind of soft, but softer than your mattress made of bricks,” she attempts to joke.

He laughs softly even though it doesn’t sound as full as it usually does, “just so you know, my mattress is now much softer than it was at the beginning, it’s almost getting comfortable now. My pillow on the other hand is as nice as the softest baby bottom. I’m fine with it.”

“Man, and here I was thinking you’d be jealous of the quality of my bed,” she laughs softly, “my mission has failed, snap.”

“You’ll never be able to beat me, don’t even bother to try,” he winks at Aelyn through the screen but his tiredness alters its effectiveness and he looks more like he’s blinking really slowly with a little bit a time difference between his right and left eye.

“Does your medication make you feel tired?”

“A little bit,” he nods slowly, “you know when you get surgery and afterwards the anesthesia still has effect on you for a little while? That’s what it feels like when I’m on my meds, I still have a week or two left with them though so I should be fine.”

“You should go take a nap or do something that doesn’t require much of your attention like watching tv or something, we’ll talk at another moment when you’ll feel more,” she pauses searching for a way to word her sentence without upsetting them, “like yourself if I dare to say.”

“You’re probably right, but it’s your first virtual visit since you moved and I wanted to talk to you and get news from you and what is happening to you in London,” he pouts so slightly it’s almost not visible, “it’s late there, isn’t it? Are you going somewhere? You’re all dressed up and looking pretty. Not that you’re not usually pretty obviously.”

“I’m actually going to a party tonight, like, a normal party,” she air-quotes, “I’m the fondest of those but my roommate, Ashley, half forced me to go there, so I don’t have many other options, especially since you know I’m a people pleaser. I hope it’ll go well though, because I won’t have the opportunity to run away from there, we have to drive for about half an hour to even get the guy’s house.”

“Just remember you don’t have to pay attention to everyone who’s there, if you go with a bunch of people you know then,” he drifts off seemingly searching what he meant to say, “just stay with them, not like a lost puppy following them everywhere, but stay with them still, being with your friends is the heart of the party not being in a house with fifty people you’ve never met.”

“I’ll try my best to have a good night,” Aelyn promises with a soft smile.

“Good. You’ll have to tell me how it went next time we talk, I’ll get going now, let you prepare for the party and maybe pass out in my bed,” he jokes even though it is quite obvious the situation upsets him.

“I’ll try to call you as soon as I can, I promise. In the meantime, don’t forget what I told you,” she tells Brendon in a motherly tone, “it’s okay if you nap a lot, don’t feel bad about it, it’ll be fixed in a short period of time. I love you, hold on and make yourself proud.”

Brendon’s response takes a bit too long to come, his eyes now closing by themselves, “I love you too, a lot, I do a lot, a lot.”

“Go to sleep, okay?” she blows him a kiss through the webcam and despite getting sleepier and sleepier she can see a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips, “I’ll log out now, can you call Adelae to come and get you?” as if on cue, Adelae appears on the screen squeezing Brendon’s shoulder to let him know it was time to go. For a moment, Aelyn almost forgot that Adelae is meant to supervise their conversation to make sure everything happens in respect of the rules.

Brendon gets up and in a second Aelyn can’t see him anymore. She stays there, staring at the wall that’s a thousand of miles away from her, in a completely different time zone, with a completely different weather surrounded by a completely different environment. Skype calls are supposed to keep her in contact with her old life, it should be refreshing and make her happy, but instead every time, she feels a tug at her heart. She ends up wanting to cry her eyes out, quit school and learning more about art and just fly back home to be able to go visit Brendon and hug him, to cuddle with Ryan until she loses the track of time, to hang out with her friends in a setting that she loves and feels comfortable with. But she doesn’t. She doesn’t, because this is her dream, something she put off doing solely due to her parents’ negative perception of artistic lives. Now that her parents let her down, she doesn’t let them have a say in her life, she does what she wants. It’s both liberating and frightening.

No matter how bad things got with her parents, she always remained close to them, because they’re her parents, she’s known them for her entire life and even though they can be tough sometimes, it’s better to have bad parents than no parents. At least, that’s what she thought all those years. Parents are meant to have an influence on you, they raise you after all, but there is a point where a line needs to be drawn whether it is on the positive side of their role or on the negative side. There comes a time where you need to fly away, and Aelyn never found the courage to do it completely, until this whole mess happened with Brendon. It was somehow a blessing in disguise. Aelyn found a new independence from her parents, Brendon and her finally created the strong bond their family wanted them to have ever since they were children and Ryan somewhat made up with his mother. It even allowed Brendon to find out what wasn’t working right in his head and get the help he needed to learn how to manage his own mind.

So, yes, Aelyn lost her entire family all at once, yes all of them somehow think there’s something incestuous between Brendon and her, yes her own parents can’t even look at her in the eyes, but the positives outcomes of this mess is much stronger and more important. She never liked her extended family all that much anyway, they’re just over judgmental uncles and aunts with children she sees once a year, even less. Children who make sure that their lives are a competition and each of them always have something incredible happening to them, like moving to South America in a couple of weeks. A behavior encouraged by their parents who want the family to think their children are the ones who succeeded the most in life. They travel, have a stable well-paid job, and still manage to go to church regularly wherever they are and take care of their family, a picture-perfect lie.

Unfortunately, she can’t say the same about her parents, she sincerely loved them, rare were the moments where she didn’t. She wouldn’t have tried to spark their admiration and approbation otherwise. But they chose to turn their back to her, and she can understand her father, after all, she decided to defend her cousin she hadn’t seen in years over her father after the latter got attacked by the former. Her mother, on the other hand, always told her she’d support her, and she always did, she stood up to her father to defend her daughter, but not this time. This time, she decided to act as if Aelyn wasn’t her little girl anymore. That’s what hurts her the most.

A soft knock comes tearing her out of her thoughts, she turns around and sees Ashley leaning against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest. Of course it’s Ashley, could it even be? She looks gorgeous in high-waisted leather shorts and a black crop top, she looks ready to go to a biker’s party and hook-up with the head of the gang. Aelyn starts to think she might be underdressed for once.

“Ready to go?” Ashley asks her with a slight smirk.

“Am I not,” she gestures back and forth between Ashley and her, “you know, underdressed?”

“Nah you’re fine don’t you worry babe, I just plan on being the only thing Luis sees tonight so I had to put extra effort in my party outfit. You’re looking good. And if you like it, it’s honestly all that truly matters in the end.”

 

***

 

Luis’ house is not exactly what you could call a house, it’s more of a mansion that has nothing to envy to the playboy’s mansion. Needless to say that when it is filled with people, the number of guests quickly reaches three numbers, definitely not the small fifty that Aelyn first expected before arriving. When they arrived, the party had already started with more people than Aelyn could bother to count.

Isn’t it funny how whenever you go to a party, no matter at what time you show up, there’s always a bunch of people already there and having fun. You’re never the first to show up, no one ever is, but somehow, there’s always someone who manage to arrive before you. As if there were people paid just to arrive before anyone else and then they leave and no one remembers them being present in the first place.

Ashley left Aelyn with the group the second she spotted Luis passing by in the distance, which left Aelyn standing awkwardly with the rest of the group unsure of how to act around them in this setting. Fair enough, it doesn’t make sense since being at a party doesn’t drastically change the way you’re supposed to act around your new acquaintances, even though there’s not really a “right” way to act around people.

Before Aelyn knew it, she had a drink in her hand, not even sure of what it was.

Danny and Linda are chatting about something Aelyn doesn’t understand, she’s always been bad at hearing what people are saying over loud music, it gets all muffled and when she concentrates enough she can make out words but they’re rarely the right ones. Tyler is busy nodding his head to the music, sipping his drink once in a while and Joshua said he was going to get another the drink but he’s still nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly a loud greeting comes from behind the group, so loud Aelyn manages to catch what the voice is saying. Tyler jolts forwards mumbling something as he straightens his back and turn around to see the friend who just slapped his back. Aelyn mechanically turns at the same time as him, even though it’s possible she shouldn’t have. The friend in question, hugs Tyler who’s slightly taller than him. The guy could easily be seen at a mile of distance with his bright cerulean colored hair, she figures he might be Josh number two, the one who needs to be referred to as Josh. Not so many people have colorful hair and Ashley mentioned he tended to change his hair quite often.

Josh turns his attention to Aelyn and smiles playfully, “I’m sorry to disturb you two, I know Tyler probably started flirting with you the second he arrived at the party,” he jokes through a laugh that doesn’t seem to stop, he’s certainly heavily intoxicated already.

“Actually, Josh, she’s Ashley’s roommate,” Tyler clarifies, “so no I’ve not been flirting with her all night, I’m not like you who flirts with a dozen of girls every party.”

“I don’t flirt, _that_ much,” Josh huffs, just as Joshua arrives with a beer in his hand, “hey twin!” he pulls him in a hug so forcefully Joshua spills a small quantity of beer on both of their shirts.

“That’s Josh, you might have figured out by yourself,” Tyler explains to Aelyn once Josh and Joshua engage in what seems to be a fascinating conversation, “he’s a bit all over the place and hyper depending on his mood, but alcohol enhances that part of his personality. He can quickly get overwhelming if you want my opinion on the subject.”

“My cousin is the same so I’m used to it,” Aelyn shrugs, “but they’re fun to be around, they feed their surroundings with their energy, I love that.”

Tyler raises an eyebrow at her which she can see in her peripheral vision, “it’s funny, you strike me more as an introvert, but it could be because we all talk so much all the time that you seem not to be talkative.”

“Ambivert. I just need the right people to bring out the extroverted side of me, which is the side I love the most,” she glances at Tyler who’s still looking at her, nodding slowly.

“Don’t disrespect introverts, we can be cool too,” he mocks being offended bringing a hand to his heart, “and at least we’re never overwhelming, we give people space and time on their own, free of our presence, and it makes their love for us grow even more since we don’t see them enough to end up annoying them.”

“We can be underwhelming sometimes though, we’re far from being as fun to be around as extroverts are, and you can’t deny that,” she turns to him for emphasis, “but there’s beauty in both types of personalities, for different reasons.”

He rolls his eyes, “what a way to be an adept of the ‘we’re all beautiful in our own way’ mindset.”

“And you have a problem with that?”

“I think that’s bullshit but that people are free to pretend to mean it when they say that,” he shrugs nonchalantly, taking another sip of his drink.

“We do mean it, at least I do, and just because you think differently doesn’t give you the right to be an ass and pretend you’re smarter solely because you decided not to believe in something decent persons believe in,” Aelyn spits out defensively.

“Woah, chill, would you?”

“I’ll go take a look around,” she mumbles before walking away. She knows she shouldn’t have talked to him that way, but she felt like defending something she sincerely believes in, and the way he worded his thoughts _did_ make him sound like an ass. Her reaction was justified in the end. Walking away like an upset teenager, on the other hand, wasn’t the smartest reaction she could have had following her little fit. Oh well.

Now, thanks to her impulsive behavior she wandered too far in the house and when she finally decides to look back behind her, the group was far out of sight, it was just her now. _Great job Aelyn, now you’re by yourself in a massive house filled with intoxicated strangers_. She leans against a wall near the stairs, her untouched drink still in her hand, hoping she’ll blend in better if she holds a cup just like everyone else does. She sighs and closes her eyes for a second, parties are weird, she’s always thought that, and her mind hasn’t changed tonight. She could try and dance with the rest of the group even without Ashley but she lost them in the sea of people and is now too scared to go start looking for them.

When she opens her eyes back she shrieks and drops her cup at her feet, meeting a pair of eyes she doesn’t recognize, accompanied with a strong smell of alcohol. She instinctively tries to take a step back but she’s still leaning against the wall, trapped between it and the stranger who’s way too close to her. He places his hand on the side of her head, leaning his weight against the wall, he doesn’t get closer though, which she’s thankful for, it would be hard to be closer without kissing her, anyway.

“You b’yoursef?” the guy slurs breathing out right under Aelyn’s nostrils, the breath of an intoxicated man is the worst smell for her to the point it makes her nauseous every time. Of course, this time isn’t an exception.

“No, I’m with a group of friends.”

He looks around swaying dangerously, “don’t see anyone.”

“They went to get some drinks, that’s all.”

“All of ‘em?” the guy gets closer again, “think you’ lyin’ but thas okay with meh, I like naughties.”

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, _what would Ashley do?,_ “I think I was clear,” she starts, opening her eyes again to look at the guy in the eyes, “I am waiting for my friends to come back from picking up drinks, and if it’s not what you wanted to hear then I’m sorry but that’s _your_ problem, certainly not mine. Now, step back.”

“Rebellious? Like it,” he smirks and forcefully presses his lips on hers catching her off-guard.

She stays there, immobile and petrified. The guy is barely taller than her, and thin enough for her to be in a position of strength, but her limbs don’t move when her brains tell them to, and she stands, letting herself be kissed while her brain screams at her limbs to move already, fucking move. The feeling of the guy’s tongue trying to make its way between her lips makes her gag, thankfully causing the guy to pull away.

“I know som’ther thing y’could gag on,” he jokes and even though Aelyn is not the best at getting sexual innuendos, she gets this one and feels her throat tighten. She takes a deep breath and grabs a handful of the guy’s crotch twisting as hard as she can just as a smirk is growing on his lips. He screams loud enough to get a few people’s attention, and grabs himself, leaving enough room and time for Aelyn to run up the stairs, not without tripping on a few of them.

Once at the top, she hears the guy yelling insults at her, but her heart beats far too fast in her ears for her to make out any of the words he’s yelling from downstairs. Guests look at her passing by with questioning looks on their faces, _thanks for your help_ , she thinks as she looks for a spot where she can be alone. On her way, she bumps into a guy who’s coming from the balcony, her breathing increases once more, rivaling with the loudness of her heartbeats. She brushes past him to go on the deserted balcony and takes deep breath, except there’s never enough air coming inside her lungs and she feels like she’ll die anytime now if she doesn’t figure out how to get more air.

She hates parties, she always has. There’s a reason why she stopped going at them after her second one. Everything smells like smoke and alcohol, people are intoxicated and acting like uneducated animals, the music is always blasting far too loud for people to be able to engage in a decent conversation. She loves games and dancing to music everyone attending the party likes or at least a majority, with drinks for everyone, alcoholic beverages or not. This, she doesn’t like, never have and never will. But still, she accepted to come over here because Ashley asked her to. Ashley who disappear two minutes after setting foot inside the house. She accepted because taking part in activities people enjoy is a sure way to make them friends, it shows them your interest in attempting to fit in their group.

But instead she’s standing, or sitting, she doesn’t even know anymore, on a balcony where it’s far too cold for the way she’s dressed, trying to catch her breath because a drunk guy couldn’t remember what decency and personal distance are. Also because her limbs forgot how to respond to signals sent by her brain who tries its best to keep her safe at all times.

She wants to go home, not just the apartment, her real home, in Vegas, and curl up in bed until things get better. She’d call Ryan and he’d come cuddle with her, or Devonne who’s do her best to make her laugh and watch a terrible movie that they both adore to hate. She’d visit Brendon and be able to pull him into a hug and tell him face to face that things will be alright for him and that she’ll hold his hand along the way, not just figuratively. She just wants things to go back to the way they were, she wants her comfort zone back. Now, she remembers why she never tried to do something on her own that required to push herself over her limits.

A hand squeezing her shoulder brings her back to reality, sitting on the cold ground, tears rolling down her cheeks and a ragged breath. She even notices a girl passed out in the corner of the balcony as she opens her eyes. Then she remembers the hand on her shoulder and scoots away, looking up wide-eyed, terrified the guy from earlier might be back at it. Except when her eyes focus on the person standing there cautiously, she recognizes it and holds her breath until her brain processes that she’s safe. It’s just Tyler.

He silently sits cross-legged next to her, giving her the time she needs to catch her breath after her latest fright of the night. She feels him there, waiting patiently tapping the bottom of his cup in a soft pattern, most likely absent-mindedly, she decides to concentrate on the pattern hoping her breath will slow down once again. After what seems to have been an eternity, her breathing is back to normal and her tears have stopped. _That’s what I get for not wearing waterproof mascara._

“Do you feel better?” he asks in a soft tone.

She nods slowly, “how did you even find me?"

“Well, the info about Ben getting his dick twisted by a girl he tried to flirt with went around so eventually we heard about it, and after finding out more, we got the description of the girl in question and it fitted you too much. So we separated and looked for you.”

“He didn’t try to flirt with me, he kissed me, there’s a difference,” she takes a deep shaky breath, “I don’t want to talk about it though.”

“He can be a dick, everyone knows that, I’m sorry you had to find out about it by experiencing it first hand,” he pauses for a long moment, searching what to say to change the subject, “I’m sorry if I’ve came off as belittling your beliefs earlier, I tend to be strong opinionated.”

“It’s okay, I do too. I didn’t mean to leave like a pissed off teenager, it’s just something I hold close to my heart, everyone truly is beautiful in their own way, and I’m aware it’s cliché to say but I believe in the veracity of this statement.”

“You’re telling me, you’ve never met someone who wasn’t beautiful? Be careful with your answer because we both know the truth,” he warns her, leaning against the balcony rail.

“Not everything is physical. Some people aren’t good-looking but they give off a vibe that makes them beautiful, their aura is beautiful and it influences the way they look. It impacts the way you have to perceive them and then they become beautiful in your eyes,” Aelyn explains as well as she can, hoping to make sense, “yes there are ugly people, but that’s because they’re bad persons and not good-looking whatsoever, and honestly I don’t care about them enough to count them in my vision of people.”

“You didn’t pull the ‘there’s inner beauty’ kind of bullshit so I can respect your opinion of things,” Tyler admits, “because the inner beauty argument is the most stupid one in the world. Telling someone ugly that it’s okay it’s their inner beauty that counts is both mean and nonsense. It’s like telling them, ‘you’re ugly but that’s fine, you’re nice, you know?’ How is that supposed to make someone feel better about themselves?”

“You have no idea how many times I’ve heard that, that I have a good heart,” Aelyn laughs emptily trying to lighten the mood that’s lingering from earlier, “as if that’s the answer to everything.”

“You?” Tyler scoffs.

“What?” she asks confused.

“You don’t strike me as someone who has been an ugly kid, that’s all.”

Aelyn laughs more truthfully this time, “are you kidding? I definitely was an ugly kid. Well, looking back I think I was just not fitting the standards of beauty, I wasn’t _that_ ugly, just awkward and tasteless.”

“Well you can thank puberty then,” he nudges her playfully earning a smile from her.

“I thank it once in a while, don’t worry,” she rolls her eyes even though she’s still smiling.

“Good, because she didn’t grace all of us.”

“Yeah sure, you’re going to tell me that mother nature forgot you.”

“She did!” he retorts, continuing when Aelyn shakes her head, “look at me and dare to tell me I couldn’t pass as a sixteen-year-old if I wanted. I’m not saying I’m ugly, I’m saying she forgot to turn me into a man.”

Aelyn turns to face him and bursts out laughing to the point tears start rolling down her cheeks again. She laughs so much she struggles breathing and ends up gasping for air, forcefully stopping her in her laughter, “I could pass for a sixteen-year-old too, you’re aware of that, right?”

“Looking younger is a compliment for a girl, for a guy,” he trails off grimacing.

“Grow a beard, boom, problem solved.”

“Joshua already picked that solution, I can’t steal it from him, and I don’t even think I could pull of a beard, I’m the kind of person who’d keep a beard for a couple of weeks then get rid of it and end up with a white mark where the hairs used to be. I tan too easily for that.”

“So that’s why Joshua is the only one with a beard?”

“Not because we don’t dare to grow one, but yes because he hides his baby face under it. At the beginning of the year he had to shave it off for a role in a musical we were doing and we teased him about it for as long as he had to stay clean shaven,” he laughs softly, “that was something, I have to find photos and show you.”

“I wish I could hide my baby face behind a beard sometimes,” Aelyn jokes through a smile.

“Embrace your baby face, at least it means that when everyone else will start being wrinkly, you’ll still look as fresh as you’ve ever been. You won’t get the senior discount at the cinema though which is a bummer.”

“Maybe we should try to get one for kids, might as well put our baby faces to good use.”

“That’s actually a genius idea.”

“Thanks, I have my moments,” she laughs softly quickly joined by Tyler, “I should probably get going, it’s getting late and I’m getting tired already, anxiety attacks don’t help with my poor skills at dealing with staying up late since I’ve moved here.”

Tyler stands up and holds his hand out to her, which she gladly takes, “still feeling jetlagged, huh? You’ll get used to it eventually, so much that next time when you’ll visit Las Vegas you’ll get jetlagged there and wonder how you were surviving this time zone most of your life.”

“It’s hard to think about London becoming my new home, I always feel like I’m gonna go back to Vegas in a week or two, once my vacation would be over, and everything will go back to the way it was because I decided to move. But it won’t, and I have yet to accept that.”

“Well, thank you Lord, we have technology, you can contact your friends as much as you want, there are even some sites to watch movies together and chat and all that. It’s pretty cool for long distance relationship whether it is platonically or romantically,” they go back inside, leaving the girl to sleep in the corner of the balcony, “I’ll help you find Ashley so that you can go home.”

Aelyn nods, “thanks.”

It easily takes them fifteen minutes to find Ashley propped up on the kitchen isle, busy making out with, who Aelyn assumes to be, Luis. They seem pretty into it, so much so in fact, that Aelyn doesn’t dare bothering them to ask Ashley to go back home with her, after all, she wanted to show up to this party solely to get Luis. That’s why she abandoned Aelyn the second she arrived. She can’t ask her to drop her plans to go home to sleep when she could stay here making out with Luis for the rest of the night. Probably even more.

However, Tyler doesn’t seem to care if he bothers her, he walks up to them and nonchalantly taps on Luis’ shoulder to get their attention. They exchange a few words that Aelyn can’t hear through the loud music coming out of the nearby speakers. Arms are flying in the air dramatically, and from the distance it looks more like a silent movie than anything. Soon enough, they’re back at what they were doing when Aelyn and Tyler arrived.

“Well, I’ll drive you home, we just need to find Joshua to ask for his car keys,” Tyler announces passing in front of Aelyn, clearly expecting her to follow him.

“I guess Ashley’s not coming home with me,” Aelyn states the obvious. _Great,_ she thinks, _now I have to sleep alone in an empty apartment with weird people filling the streets, people like Ben,_ her breath quickens in pace again, so she decides to shut off her thoughts and focus on following Tyler through the crowd of staggering people.

Joshua is nowhere to be seen, at least that’s what it seems. They quickly find Linda dancing on top of a coffee table in one of the living rooms, shirtless. Tyler rolls his eyes, he’s used to it, every party Linda ends up on a table with her shirt off to God knows where. He stands in front of her, looking a good five inches shorter than her, it takes her a moment to notice but when she does, she smiles brightly at him.

“Do you know where Joshua is?” he asks loudly.

“Oh, he left about a minute ago, he said he had stuff to work on and he didn’t want to leave too late,” Linda replies, yelling louder than necessary.

“Thanks,” he waves at her before turning his attention back to Aelyn, awkwardly standing behind him, “we need to see if Joshua hasn’t left yet, in case he can drop us at your place,” once again he starts walking expecting Aelyn to follow him. A few people spill their drinks on her shirt on their way out of the mansion.

Sure enough, Joshua is standing next to his car when they get to it, “hey guys, I’m leaving early I know, but I have work to get done for Monday.”

“No problem, we’re leaving too, I was looking for you to know if you could lend us your car but thankfully you’re leaving, so can you be a sweet Canadian boy and make your country proud and drop us at her place?” Tyler asks with a slight pout.

“I’m always nice, just so you know,” he points out to Aelyn before getting in his car, “come in you fucker.”

The ride home is quiet, the radio being the only noise in the car. Aelyn doesn’t mind though, she doesn’t feel like talking at the moment, the growing aching in her stomach is enough to occupy her attention. She doesn’t blame Ashley for staying with the guy she’s wanted to get for weeks now, she just wishes it wouldn’t have happened the same night Aelyn had troubles with a drunk guy. She’s never slept by herself at the apartment since she arrived. Empty apartments can be scary in the middle of the night, it’s complicated to pin point the exact reasons, but it is.

Anything can happen to you when you’re in an unfamiliar place, in the middle of the night, all by yourself. Technically, those things can still happen to you if someone is in this place with you. But it’s reassuring to have another presence, and somehow, it doesn’t seem to be possible to be touched by the negativities that could happen.

Aelyn doesn’t notice they arrived until Joshua announces that they have. She thanks him and follow Tyler out of the car, and starts walking towards the entrance of the building but doesn’t feel Tyler following her. When she turns around to check where he is, she sees him waving at Joshua as he drives away. _Doesn’t he need to get back at his place?_

As if he heard her thoughts he clarifies, “I live not too far, it’s not as dangerous for me to go home by foot in the middle of the night that it would be for you.”

 _Great, remind me I’m not safe by myself,_ Aelyn thinks as they get inside.

Once inside the apartment, Tyler leans against the doorframe, arms crossed, “you’re going to be okay?” he asks quietly yet it still seems deafening in the heavy silence.

Aelyn turns to face him and nods, “I think so, yes,” she lies, she knows it’s a lie, but there’s no way she’d confess she’s scared of being alone in this place as if she was a little girl scared of going to bed without her parents home, in case a monster comes to eat her.

“Good,” he nods pensively before standing up straighter, “I’ll leave you then, good night,” he waves the same way as he did at Joshua and Linda earlier in the night.

Just as he turns to leave, Aelyn can’t help his name from falling from her lips, effectively stopping him in his tracks. She instantly regrets calling him back and hopes he ends up thinking he heard wrong and leaves anyway, except he doesn’t, instead, he turns back around, eyebrows raised in a silent question.

She can’t back down now, “can you stay for the night?” she asks in a small quiet voice, causing Tyler to mouth a silent ‘oh’ in surprise, “not that way!” she’s quick to clarify any confusion, “I’ve never slept in this apartment all by myself and after what happened at the party, I-” 

“I understand,” Tyler cuts her off, “Ashley’s not going to come back home anytime soon anyway, she won’t mind me stealing her bed for the night.”

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been ages it seems since I last uploaded a chapter, but in case some of you are interested in this story, here's a new one! And I truly hope you'll enjoy it. Don't be shy and comment or leave kudos!


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